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In this episode of “Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist“, Lori Burkman and Laurel Sandberg-Armstrong interview Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about advice she would give virgins on their wedding night and also how and when fantasy can be a useful element of a sexual relationship.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a psychotherapist who focuses on issues surrounding female sexuality and feminism within the LDS framework. She holds a PhD in Counseling Psychology from Boston College where she wrote her dissertation on LDS women and sexuality. She has taught college-level classes on human sexuality and currently has a private therapy practice in Chicago. In her private practice, she primarily works with LDS couples on sexuality and relationship issues. She also teaches online courses to LDS couples on these issues. She is married, has three kids, and is an active member of the LDS church.
Make sure to look for her online course here:
The Art of Desire: On-Line Course for LDS Women
Class 1: Understanding and overcoming women’s cultural and psychological challenges to desire.
Class 2: The art of desire: How to discover and cultivate your authentic passion.
Class 3: Understanding female arousal: Physical and psychological factors
Class 4: Sexual Self Development: (Including the how-tos of orgasm and sexual thought).
I’m a woman getting married in a few months and I can’t thank you enough for this series! Is there already a transcript online?
Wait. Did an actual sex therapist just say “women, uh, tend to not get much pleasure through intercourse…”?
I feel that women owning their sexuality is a challenge beneath feeling that Eve was given to Adam or rather that our bodies are one at consummation. More specifically, this conversation about it being a spiritual union before mortality concerns how we view the idea of any distance mentally, ie fantasies, or just plain unfulfilled experiences or lack of desire. We don’t feel it is our sexuality when it SEEMS so much tired to a spouse doctrinally. Yet I do believe it is a misunderstood point to be a concept of mutual domain since we are queens of our own bodies and thus the sharing of it is an epitome of agency that takes a more deeper and thoughtful approach to the true teachings of Adam and Eve and specifically the correct idea that giving oneself or being given means you have individual substance before being a gift….something worth giving. And not because of virgin value but because you are agent with a body and a spirit….a living soul. Thus Satan is super jealous and seeks to distort everything about this as much as possible. So, yeah, it is super great that it is being talked about and brought into the light in a place where we can discover what we really need to instead of feeling like traitors and shamefaced Jezebels or horrified. Thanks.