I turned in my temple recommend this week. Folded it between a white sheet of paper, placed it into a white envelope and sent it to my Stake President.
After months of prayer and consideration and after re-examining the temple recommend questions, I have determined that — according my interpretation of the Church’s standards — I am no longer worthy to hold my temple recommend. Not by any sins or misdeeds on my part, but because of my support for same-sex marriage, which the Church openly opposes, and my fervent opposition to recent enacted policies.
The Church has been more explicit as of late in its position toward same-sex marriage and same-sex married couples, going so far as to de facto label those who have entered into legal same-sex marriages as apostates. The Church has further mandated that children of same-sex married couples cannot be blessed or baptized into the Church unless they are 18 years old and disavow their parents’ marriage.
As has been noted by many around the blogosphere and on social media, the same standard is not applied for people who commit similar sexual “sins” such as cohabitation (in fact, as that article suggests, in some areas co-habitating spouses not only aren’t labeled apostates, they can be baptized as well). The Church also makes same-sex marriage an automatic apostate offense, while crimes like rape and incest are put into the “maybe” column for automatic apostasy.
It is clear that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has made defending so-called “traditional marriage” one of its modern-day cornerstones.
The Church has drawn a definitive line in the sand.
In light of this and the recent policies enacted by the First Presidency, I can no longer in good conscience say that I fully sustain the leaders of the Church, insomuch that I refuse to sustain these recent policies and the reasoning behind them.
I firmly believe that members of the Church can reasonably differ from Church leaders. Indeed, I felt that way when, after experiencing a faith transition that left me with a very different outlook on the Church, I renewed my expired recommend last fall. I felt that my personal differences with how the Brethren interpret Church doctrine and enact Church policy was not to a point that it made me unable to sustain them.
That changed in November.
When the leaders of the Church draw such a hard line in the sand, as they did with these new policies, I feel disingenuous saying outwardly and inwardly that I sustain those same leaders, as that would be tantamount to saying I sustain the line being drawn, which I most certainly do not.
In a recent interview, Elder D. Todd Christofferson explained the reasoning behind the policy toward children of same-sex couples:
“We don’t want the child to have to deal with issues that might arise where the parents feel one way and the expectations of the Church are very different.”
In our house, we teach that everyone is entitled to the same blessings from our Heavenly Parents, whether they be straight, gay, black, white, man or woman. We teach that our Mother and Father in Heaven will not hold us accountable or treat us differently because we were created in a certain way, and that they are happy when we embrace and celebrate our difference. We teach that they are sad when we feel (or are made to feel) ashamed of our differences. We teach that all of God’s children deserve his love and approbation. This includes the opportunity to be united in a loving, committed marriage to a partner of their choosing.
And so I say to Elder Christofferson and the other leaders: Our family is actively dealing with the issues that are arising where we as parents feel one way and the expectations of our Church are very different. But we’re not gay, so our soon-to-be 8-year old is good to go?
This is shameful and disappointing to me. I cannot and will not support this type of discrimination in my church (cue Edwin Woolley). I feel compelled to speak openly about it.
Sustaining is one thing. Then there’s tithing. I came to the conclusion that I personally cannot in good conscience continue to donate money in the form of tithing to an institution that implements policies of blatant discrimination against the LGBTQ community.
Upon further examination of the requirements of holding a temple recommend, it would also be inaccurate for me to say that I do not affiliate with, agree with or support individuals or groups whose teachings or practices are contrary to those accepted by the Church. With the line in the sand now drawn, and the renewed emphasis on “defending the family,” it feel disingenuous to not interpret this question as relating to support for same-sex marriage and same-sex married couples.
In fact, I do fully, openly and proudly support many individuals who are gay and married. I also support groups and organizations — such as PFLAG — that not only support, but openly advocate for marriage equality, which is in direct opposition to the Church’s teachings.
It is vital for me to note that this decision was not made lightly. It is based on years of personal prayer, praying together as a couple, and personal revelation we have received on this specific matter. I believe, based on the same pattern of revelation received throughout my life and including on my mission that the Lord has revealed to us what He would have us teach to our children in our home. We believe firmly, just as surely as we believe in the Gospel, that the Lord has sanctioned this course for our family.
It has been a difficult spiritual and intellectual journey for me the past several years to get to a point where I felt not only able to, but excited about holding a current temple recommend. To be back at a point where, in order to be honest with myself, I have to give up my temple recommend (and all the social trappings that come with it) is personally devastating to me.
But in reality, this is not about me.
My pain and discomfort absolutely pales in comparison to how devastating it has been for many of my brothers and sisters who are gay to see the actions the Church has taken in the last few years, especially the recent policy changes. It pales in relation to the pain this has caused the families of same-sex married couples and their children. It does not compare to the heartache it has caused for gay LDS teenagers and their parents, who wonder what the future now holds for them.
If the Church is drawing a more clear line in the sand – which I believe it is through these changes – this is me simply finding a tangible way to stand on the side of love, support and inclusion toward my LGBTQ brothers and sisters.
James Patterson
James Patterson lives with his wife and two children in North Carolina. He makes no apologies for being an avid fan of both Duke basketball and Taylor Swift.
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James, I respect your decision and I hope in the end it helps the overall situation. Myself, and I suspect others, are not far from this action and are contemplating the issue.
I love your posts – I always find something of value. Thanks for sharing this.
In 1988, my temple recommend was revoked by my stake president for the same reasons you have so eloquently articulated. My only regret is, unlike you, I did not turn in my recommend before it was taken from me.
Bravo James! My wife and I decided not to renew our recommends last month. I feel the exact same way as you. I am currently serving on the High Council, so I suppose it is only a matter of time before they release me. But I cannot in good conscience answer the temple recommend questions given my feelings on this terrible new policy. I stand in support of your choice.
May I ask, when you say that you believe everyone should be entitled to God's blessings, does that mean anyone no matter what kinds of sins or destructive behaviors they commit? Should there be no standards? And if so, what standards would you support or where would you draw the line? Do you believe everyone should be able to go to heaven (if there is one), and if so would it really be a heaven or just the same as here?
I did the same thing you have after arriving at the same conclusions. My decision was also not made lightly, and was measured against my obligation to love as Jesus does. It was tough to do and it saddens me.
My family has also taken the step of now holding the church at arms length, adjusting our relationship with the church. When bigotry is institutionalized and no revelation is cited for such changes, my conclusion is that this is a religion that no longer reflects my beliefs. I will not have my children taught institutionalized bigotry as God’s will.
On a related note, have you seen the seminary essay question regarding “traditional marriage”? Another example of institutionalized bigotry.
That’s too bad. We can use more people like you within the church. By quitting, you’re taking something away from the members who need you.
Don,
He can continue to participate in the church and help those who need him without a temple recommend.
Thanks for posting this, I couldn't explain it better!
Thank you for your support. It keeps many of us gay people alive.
Your comment carries such weight, Kevin, and was worth every hour of contemplation on this subject. Thank you.
James, you probably don't remember me from the Tanglewood ward (my maiden name was Sebright) but your words today echo exactly what I have been feeling lately. I cannot in good conscience continue to claim that I support the brethren when I so vehemently disagree with the recent policy change. My temple recommend expired last month but I am going to prayerfully consider mailing it to my stake president along with my thoughts and feelings on the subject.
James, you probably don’t remember me from the Tanglewood ward (my maiden name was Sebright) but your words today echo exactly what I have been feeling lately. I cannot in good conscience continue to claim that I support the brethren when I so vehemently disagree with the recent policy change. My temple recommend expired last month but I am going to prayerfully consider mailing it to my stake president along with my thoughts and feelings on the subject.
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Catherine,
I do remember you, Catherine! I was (and still am) very fond of your dad. A great man.
I so appreciate your thoughts here. I hope you find peace and support.
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Lilli Avellino,
The God I believe in does not punish his children or cause them unnecessary burdens or blame confusing and contradictory doctrine on the color of their skin, gender or their sexual orientation, as those are all things that are out of our control.
The LDS Church, on the other hand, has a longstanding history of doing just that.
Thank you so much for this.
James, I feel your heartfelt decision and it hurts to see you take the action. In my opinion, in turning in your recommend you will likely be marginalized and then you might respond by retreating further until you and your family’s activity in the Church is very limited, though you may think otherwise at the moment. I can’t read your heart or claim to know what divine communication was given to you to move you to this action, but in your sincere searching to make the ‘right’ decision I hope you were able to accurately weigh the cost to your own children of your actions. Aren’t you possibly doing the same thing to your children in the long run that the Church is doing to the children of gay couples, for which you are castigating the Church?
Patrick Mason made some relevant and insightful comments as quoted in a Nov 11 Trib article:
“I have seen and heard nothing from the church stating that this policy came by revelation,” Mason writes on Facebook, “nor are we asked to sustain it as such. We are never asked to sustain the Handbooks.”
Policies, he adds, “come and go.”
“Most of them are good and sensible,” Mason says, “some of them are lame, misguided and even hurtful. As people of conscience, we are always within our rights to disagree with anything within the church, but especially policies. We can responsibly say to ourselves, to our friends and neighbors, to our fellow church members and to our priesthood leaders, ‘I sustain my church leaders as men (and women) called by God and striving to lead his church by inspiration, but I do not agree with this policy of the church.’ ”
They are not called by any God, their leadership “callings” are a legal and business decision that comes down from head office.
If that's the way you feel then you made the right decision. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There have always been lines drawn in the sand I don't believe in free for all but do believe in loving all. I have never felt the church frownon me for loving my gay son and it is my faith in the Gospel that brings me joy to know we will be a eternal family. I feel so much more good comes from holding a Temple recommend then not. Not only for me personally but for many who I am able to do the work for. It pains me to see others sacrifice such great blessings.
Thank you for this thoughtful statement. I applaud your personal struggle and the integrity with which you approach these difficult issues.
I too struggle with how to remain part of the Church and its culture and live and advocate with integrity for aspects of the gospel message that don’t seem to square with the recent policy changes.
Not only do the policies impose a penalty not imposed by other criminal transgressions, but they also impose a set of religious test not required of other members as a prerequisite to baptism including changing living arrangements away from a parent, disavowing support of the institution of same sex marriage/relationships engaged in by others, disavowing a person’s parent(s) “transgression/committed same sex relationship, and despite approval of both parents and no legal/cultural/or outside religious prohibition against joining the Church, being required to wait till age 18 and having to have special approval to be baptized. None of these religious tests are required of other potential members seeking baptism. (Polygamists rules are fundementally different due to attempts to infiltrate.)
I understand that Most religious traditions change over time and struggle with changes in society’s values and with movements that confront historical injustice and the privilege steming from power. With the essay on race and the priesthood we clearly see moral adaptations the LDS Church admits to experiencing in its journey. For me the fact that the Church experiences and improves thru such a journey, like many of us and other religious and even scientific viewpoints do, the difficulty of the journey and upheaval that comes with change does not bother me nor threaten my belief in the Divine, but I do find my baptismal covenant obligations to morn with those who morn and comfort those who stand in need of comfort and to witness for Christlike behavior to be called upon in far greater measure with the increase in suffering of so many members including myself who find ourselves in pain due to these new policies and the intolerant unloving attitudes engendered amongst our brothers and sisters in our LDS Christian community.
I am not gay nor do I have any LGBTQ family members, and I am staying for now to support those who need comfort.
Again thanks for your integrity.
Seven years ago I took this a step further by resigning from the church. After Prop 8 and seeing the millions of dollars and 1000's of hours spent by the church and members against those not even members of the church, I realized the church had lost it's way. The basic tenets/beliefs of the church no longer seemed to be true and hold value such as the Articles of Faith, canonized scripture from Joseph Smith. Are these points no longer true…
11.We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
12.We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. ???
There are Gods and congregations that absolutely support and sustain gay couples, yet the Mormon church has been on a literal rampage going state to state and other countries trying to impose Mormon dogma on all, non-members included. From my perspective, neither Church leaders and many church members are true followers of Christ. What should be an organization following Christ's principles of love is instead directed by fear. Fear is not of God or Christ. Who do the Mormon church leaders listen to that promotes so much fear, eh?
OMG! We're related! My great-great grandfather is Samuel Amos Woolley, Edwin's brother. I'm in the Utah Woolley Family book. I totally support your views. I am a strong advocate of the LBGT community.
Good on you, James. More people need to stand up against the "Who would Jesus hate" crowd.
I took this path too, but mostly because I needed to provide a positive role model for our Mormon-raised kids that it is OK to refuse to participate in something that harms people, and the temple rites harm women. I think someone has to break the cycle of abuse and in our family that happened to be me. I have all the same objections the author of the OP does, though, of course.
I know you're not aksing me… but I wouldn't classify gay marriage as a sin or destructive behavior. In fact, loving, committed relationships seem to be key to many constructive behaviors and healthy development.
As I have family that is married as same sex, and a neice that is gay I agree with the writer. I was at one point trying to equate this with the time that black men could not hold the preasthood. However, with the church denying children the write to be baptized I can no longer suport them. I know that the church is faliable as it is lead by man who listens to god, and sometimes they only hear and not listen.
I am not sacrificing anything. Your beliefs are not my truth.
The LD$ corporation hit a new low when they went after the gay community by using their children, and under the guise of "protecting them." The so called church has never protected children. They protect molesters, but they do not protect children. Now the newly ostracized children aren't going to feel very "protected" either!
Much appreciate the piece. I resigned from the LDS Church in 2008 after I married my husband and partner of (now) 25 years and after the Church's public and mean-spirited attack on me and all LGBT people in their support of Prop 8. I happily identify "post-Mormon".
Truly I felt sorry for the LDS leadership after this latest blunder. They are so out of touch with life in the actual, physical world today, that they have doubled down on policies that not only a majority of the public, but soon all decent people, will find not only mean spirited, but morally bankrupt.
The greatest change to marriage was marriage for love. Romantic love. The rest was bound to happen, though it took a couple centuries.
The LDS Church will not recover their moral mandate until the current crop of whited sepulchers is dust.
Ashley Marlow my faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ goes much further then what goes on in this life which means I don't decide what happens to someone in the hereafter but hold to promises made that i will have my family. My son is happy which makes me happy we have a wonderful love and respect for each other's feelings and beliefs. I'm not sure why it would bother you so much the way I feel about living the gospel especially since you no longer believe it's true. I'm glad you are happy in your life. You feel you let go of foolish beliefs and I feel different simple as that.
Ashley Marlow my faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ goes much further then what goes on in this life which means I don't decide what happens to someone in the hereafter but hold to promises made that i will have my family. My son is happy which makes me happy we have a wonderful love and respect for each other's feelings and beliefs. I'm not sure why it would bother you so much the way I feel about living the gospel especially since you no longer believe it's true. I'm glad you are happy in your life. You feel you let go of foolish beliefs and I feel different simple as that.
The corporate leaders you follow for your salvation have branded your son an apostate and have decided for you what happens in the hereafter. You will not un-gay him with temple rituals either. If you are going to Mormon VIP heven then you will not be with the gay apostates. And it does not bother me how you feel about your version of your gospel, I don't even know you. I just find your response to the blog rather odd in a preachy sort of way.
You are making too big of a deal out of it. Throw the paper away, forget about it, get on with you life and be happy. The old geezers can't tell you what to believe how to feel or anything else. Mormonism is not different from any number of other religions, they simply run on fear and control. Hang in there.
Ashley Marlow – drop the nonsense will you… you don't speak for the church or the rules of heaven which are deeply personal to which we are all entitled to believe in the manner that most blesses us. You have chosen are certain path let others choose theirs. Sorry that the Mormonism doesn't work for you, but it does work for others even though we may alter it to our personal preference… and they who speak out of line are most likely mistaken even though they spoke out of their best intentions.
Bless you and your inspired action James.
David E MacKay , I'm not sure if your referring to me about altering things or speaking out of line but what I have been promised in a blessing is right in line with what i have heard General Authorities say no matter how things may look we can be together.
Ashley, I agree with you. I just had a couple of missionaries visit me and I brought up that very thing and they said the same thing; that the children were being "protected." Protected from WHAT?? What a crock.
Edith – Via weekly email exchanges with my son on a foreign mission I am talking with my son on the policy change and trying to answer his questions. He only hears bits and pieces, but he keeps coming back with, “I don’t understand – that doesn’t make sense at all”. I have to agree with him and tell him that as his father I can talk to him, but he really needs to start leaning on his heavenly father. I also let him know it is possible (ie blacks and the priesthood/temple ban) that leaders get stuff wrong and he might get that answer from “both” of his fathers.
Rob McMaster I totally agree with you, Rob. There is nothing destructive or sinful about two people who love each other. There are too many couples out there that live a lie because one of them is gay and they get married to the opposite sex because they feel like they have to. That has nothing to do with love.
As I understand it:
1-are your gay friends really that saddened by the new church policy? I would think that if they are gay and married, then they probably don’t want to be a part of this church organization in the first place since we teach doctrine contrary to their lifestyle. So your cry for their gender hearts doesn’t work for me.
2-rapists and molestors should be thrown into the sea with a millstone around their necks. However, I see that they can be in full fellowship through forsaking the crime/sin and receiving forgiveness.
In that same vein, a gay person would also receive full fellowship through forsaking the sin and receiving forgiveness.
So your example there doesn’t work for me.
3-to the point that the temple ceremonies are hurtful to women that one of your commenters made. Amen.
I don’t know which group of men wrote down the temple ceremony, but I’d like to slap them upside the head.
Anyway, church policy is so convoluted in regards to how it stacks up against the Savior’s doctrine that you felt the need to publicly distance yourself from the church organization. Thats fine, but please don’t forsake the true gospel message. And…please don’t forsake your church friends. They will have feelings too and if you drop them, their gender hearts will hurt as well. Too many of my friends disappeared when they changed their lifestyle and thinking to be more in line with what is found outside of the church organization. It’s hurtful. It’s a shame that ex Mormons have such a hard and set line against maintaining Mormon friendships.
For so many of them claim to suddenly be all-inclusive and to love all…but don’t really…at least, not when it comes to current Mormons.
Just my thoughts.
While I recognize this is a difficult issue for many within the LDS Church, as well as those outside of the LDS Church, stating the Church’s position on same sex marriage is a policy, and therefore subject to change, is false.
The Family – A Proclamation to the World was signed by the two presiding quorums of the LDS Church, the Council of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Thus, when those fifteen men affixed their signatures to the Proclamation they did so as Prophets, Seers, and Revelators. They pronounced doctrine, not policy.
Elder D. Todd Christopherson has stated this doctrine will never change. His position, as well as the Proclamation, is consistent with scripture going back to Genesis.
Genesis states the image of God is male and female. Genesis 1:27. It is not male and male. It is not female and female.
Unions other than male and female are inconsistent with becoming Gods.
Leviticus 18 and 20 contain verses condemning homosexual behavior.
The New Testament also condemns homosexual behavior. See Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Jesus Christ referred to Genesis 1:27 when commenting on marriage. He speaks only of male and female unions. Matthew 19:3. If Christ had wanted to announce a change in or an expansion of the concept of marriage, that would seem to have been a good time to do so. He did not.
Insofar as I can tell, God has never approved of same sex marriage or sexual activity outside of marriage. Rather, He has condemned it. The most recent prophetic pronouncement on the subject, the Proclamation, is consistent with the Bible, beginning with Genesis. Sexual activity outside of a lawful marriage between a man and a woman is a sin. That’s doctrine, not policy.
Susan Burks West – I no longer require General Authorities to believe which promises come from Heaven, rather I believe what I know to be right through the Holy Ghost and using Moro 7:16-17 as a point of reference (anything that inspires you to be a better and more Christlike is of God). If what I happen to believe already is echoed by a General Authority then I'm happy to be validated, but ultimately what I believe through the Holy Ghost is more important than what the General Authorities might say.
For instance Same Sex Marriage, I don't believe the latest policy update is right. I wish it to be gone as soon as possible, I will push for it to be removed in every possible instance where I can excert decent amount of influence. In the mean time I'm required to uphold it just as when the policy of Blacks and the Priesthood was in place. My personal revelations does not speak for the church, but it speaks for myself.
David E MacKay I am not sure what you refer to as nonsense, but I do agree that people can believe whatever they want even if it is imaginary (ie. Holy Ghost), but it doesn't make it true. Religion is man made, Mormon doctrine is man made, your religion is a business brand, and I am constantly amazed by how much Mormons do not know about their own religion/history. The fact that I am not a spokesperson for the so called church does not mean I do not know about the church, it's teachings, it's history, and it's abuses. So define "nonsense."
David E MacKay I knew a family where the husband told me he received personal revelation that he take another wife and even though they left the church they still be live in it. He took a second wife. I love being able to receive personal revelation but believe when it concerns gospel principles it should not contradict what the Prophet has taught as revelation. I don't believe we will be lead astray. There have been lines drawn from the beginning when God told Adam and Eve don't eat from the forbidden tree but they could chose. Because they ate the forbidden fruit did not make it right with God even though Adam and Eve saw the bigger picture they were punished. We will always have members who don't like where the line is drawn but what confusion if the Prophet tried to listen to them instead of Heavenly Father. So when it concerns the church I do turn towards the Prophet because I do believe he receives revelation for the church.
David E MacKay I am not sure what you refer to as nonsense, or "speaking out of line," but I do agree that people can believe whatever they want even if it is imaginary (ie. Holy Ghost), but it doesn't make it true. Religion is man made, Mormon doctrine is man made, your religion is a business brand, and I am constantly amazed by how much Mormons do not know about their own religion/history. The fact that I am not a spokesperson for the so called church does not mean I do not know about the church, it's teachings, it's history, and it's abuses. So define "nonsense."
Edith Hall they just parrot what they are told. Invite them in every time and teach them critical thinking. Feed them. Comfort them while they are so far from home. Your influence will matter to their future.
I love you. I wish my dad had your courage. My life would have been a whole lot happier if he had. I am so grateful though to live in a time when (there's a whole Saturday's Warrior thing coming over me now so ….) men like you have the courage to pick the battles you pick, the windmills you tilt at. Because you've made my life and the lives of so many of my tribe so much better and I can't thank you enough.
This paragraph is too misleading not to comment on, “The Church also makes same-sex marriage an automatic apostate offense, while crimes like rape and incest are put into the “maybe” column for automatic apostasy.” Really buddy? Name the names of people that have committed rape or incest and have not been excommunicated. That is just false. It’s automatic excommunication if you rape or commit incest. That is a mischaracterization to help illustrate the whole “unfairness” of the situation. However, all faiths discriminate through their doctrines (did the Gentiles of Christ time cry “Unfair or bigot” to Christ because he first commanded his apostles to teach only the Jews?), and that is why there are so many different faiths around the world. So go and start a spin off church and preach what you’d like. It is still a free country. However, when you try and change a religious organization through political means you’re going to find yourself on the way out. And honestly that is good. The scriptures say that both homosexual and homosexual sex outside is sin. God can’t wink at sin, whatever type it takes. Because if his words are of no consequence than we cannot expect the same with promised blessings.
Also…
“We teach that our Mother and Father in Heaven will not hold us accountable or treat us differently because we were created in a certain way…” Did science prove that people are born gay? Or where is the scripture that God created some people gay and some straight? I missed that verse.
Name someone who has committed rape and hasn’t been excommunicated? Anyone who is LDS and has raped someone.. duh
James,
I admire your courage and candor. You are bold and make your case persuasively. Have you received a lot of flack from members? Family? Friends.
Thank you for putting it down and sharing it.
Darin L. Hammond
Bye bye!!
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R. Spencer Robinson,
So if (or rather when) we learn that being gay is genetic. Your rhetoric is false. Then what? Beinng gay myself was not a choice. Not enough space here to tell you “my” story. I was born Gay and Mormon. Only one of them are a “choice”. Did you choose to be straight? Is everyone born straight? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds. So until “the science” is proven, most of the Morms (like yourself) can continue pounding your chests with disapproving judgement… And then when that day comes (When we find the truth) WE will all be waiting for an apology (who am I to kid, that will never happen.. even if it is proven). PURE BIGOTRY. Based on its history, The Church is very good at it….
Susan Burks West I dont understand why everyone says we won't be lead astray. Where is that written in our doctrine? I agree with david follow the Holy Ghost, how can you go wrong doing that? The policy to me is obviously not Christ-like, but i respect others that feel differently.
God's love does not supercede His laws. He has love for all, but there are eternal laws that have always been and will always be. Even He lives by them, otherwise He would cease to be God.
I have many LGBT friends and relatives, and I could no longer stand by while church policy in general, and bigoted priesthood leaders, in particular took what I considered to be an exclusionary stance concerning very good people who did not "choose" their gender identity and / or sexual orientation. I was shunned by the community, my children were ostracized by the parents of their friends, and I eventually left Utah because it made me sick to look at my hypocrite neighbors.
I did not lose my faith in the church, I simply came to understand that any organization that claims to be based on love and faith that has such a history of racism, sexism, and sociosexual elitism cannot possibly be anything relevant to an eternal plan. So, thereby armed with evidence of reasonable doubt, in August of 2006, I put the church out of my life with a resignation letter, and all aspects of its dogma out of my home with the following week's garbage. I made it clear to my stake president that my First Amendment right of Free Association would be honored, or else.
It was difficult for me to become a non-mormon, it took work, a lot of study, a lot of self-examination, but my life is better as a person who thinks for myself, and supports the freedom and equality of all people, not just eh ones who are white and delightsome.
Your gay son no longer has any place in the church – he'll either be driven out, or he'll be hounded until he commits suicide – how does that make you feel?
50% of homeless youth in Utah were kicked out of mormon homes – some kind of love, you've got there. Your cult is justifying bigotry, like it always has – you just keep paying that tithing, now.
Brandon Osborn Are you judging the Lord's church based on the choices of its imperfect members? I hope you know that Jesus loves you. 🙂
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Dean Lewis,
Your comment is non-responsive. Assuming there comes a time when the learning of men decrees that one is born with same sex attraction, it does not follow that acting on it is approved by God.
Genesis states that the image of God is male and female. It is not male and male. It is not female and female.
Leviticus states that a men having sex with men is a sin.
Romans 1, 1st Corinthians 6, and 1st Timothy 1 also state that homosexual behavior is a sin.
You may not agree that those scriptures reflect God’s position, but they condemn the behavior.
So it is with what the Council of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, regarded as prophets, seers, and revelators have said together, and what those men have said individually. The position is consistent from Genesis to the present day.
In order for there to be basis for an apology, it would be necessary for the LDS Church to repudiate 6000 years of what is regarded as the word of God. As you noted, though not for the reasons you may have, such is not likely.
It’s been a few years, but for those currently struggling with this issue, here is something that might help those with questions.
https://youtu.be/UIJ6gL_xc-M
You don’t have to turn in your temple recommend just because you support Gay marriage. In fact, I encourage you not to. Please read and watch the video in which Elder Christofferson clearly states that unless an individual is attacking the church and it’s leaders they are ok to believe what they believe and support who they support. Answers start at around minute 9:15
I found this a very interesting post by one of my dearest friends in life James Patterson. By now I believe he is no longer writing his awesome posts but anyway I wanted to comment that I haven’t had a Temple recommend for several years, because of my different opinion about life that doesn’t match Church teachings. It is not that I don’t believe in the Church. I do have a strong testimony about it and I do miss attending Temples but I don’t think it is fair to lie answering the protocol questions Church does in the interviews just to be able to get into those amazing places. I do stand tall on what I believe and I do support whoever feels the same way.