Recently, there have been attacks on Wendy Montgomery and John Dehlin in their advocacy of the significant problem of suicide, depression and homelessness among LGBT Mormon youth. One article concludes after an alleged exhaustive look at the data that, “The claim appears to be fabricated.”1 And yet, while targeting Wendy and John, the article doesn’t make any reference to the professional associations and/or professional studies and work with which these two individuals have the closest association.
Wendy’s family was featured in the Family Acceptance Project’s film ‘Families Are Forever’. 2 The Family Acceptance Project is the ‘Best Practice for Suicide Prevention’ in the country. Their specific research (studying rejection in conservative religious households) reveals:
- Highly rejected LGBT youth are 8x more likely to attempt suicide
- Highly rejected LGBT youth are 3x more likely to experience high levels of depression
- Highly rejected LGBT youth are 3x more likely to experience homelessness
The Family Acceptance Project has gone out of its way to provide a video and brochure (coauthored by an LDS Bishop) outlining how to safely support an LGBT Mormon youth. The video features an active LDS family and the quotes are from our own prophets. The brochure can be found at: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/LDS-booklet. I highly recommend these materials.
If you are familiar with Wendy’s family, their experience in the Church has included harsh shunning, the refusal of members to take the sacrament from her gay son, a thriving hair and beauty business ending because most of her Mormon clients refused to patronage her business (specifically because her son was gay), direct ecclesiastical support for Evergreen and reparative therapy, promises from Church leaders that prayer will cure her son, being driven from their home ward in search of more friendly/tolerant members, and strained family relationships.
The current message from Church leadership is represented on mormonsandgays.org where it states:
“There is no change in the Church’s position of what is morally right. But what is changing–and what NEEDS TO CHANGE (emphasis added)–is <how> Church members respond…when they encounter same-sex attraction in their own families, among other Church members, or elsewhere.”
When even Church leaders are saying explicitly that change is not just a good idea, but NEEDS to happen, then perhaps we should take note. It should be acknowledged, that dramatic changes in the Church’s approach to LGBT members has only occurred in the past 3-5 years (Post Prop 8 years.) Mormonsandgays.org has only existed since 2012 and is a stark contrast to such books as Miracle of Forgiveness where homosexuality is compared to bestiality and pedophilia and the moral framing is that it is better to die than to be gay (one should give his or her life rather than to yield to loss of virtue). And we wonder were suicidal ideation comes from within the framework of Mormon theology.
To further demonstrate the evolving landscape of Mormon thought regarding the LGBT community, Sister Neill Marriott (second counselor in the Young Women’s General Presidency and a member of the Public Relations Committee) said the push for gay rights was prompted by “centuries of ridicule, persecution and even violence against homosexuals. Ultimately, most of society recognized that such treatment was simply wrong, and that such basic human rights as securing a place to live should not depend on a person’s sexual orientation.” 3
While speaking generally about the history of ridicule, persecution and violence against homosexuals, Sister Marriott is also speaking to the membership of the Church. Some recognize that such treatment is wrong, but others do not. Not only should we be advocating for the rights of LGBT people have a place to live, we should be advocating that LGBT people should have a place on our pews and in our congregations.
John Dehlin has also done extensive research specifically within the LGBT Mormon community, something completely lost on his critics. 4 John is not challenging Church culture just because he doesn’t like it. In his research (study includes over 1,600 LGBT Mormons; published in over 7 national professional journals; coauthored with a BYU PHD Professor of Molecular Biology), one of the facts established is that Church Counseling is reported by 75% as either harmful or not effective. It also establishes that despite the Church teaching for decades that being LGBT or SSA can be overcome, that only 3.6% indicated that through psychotherapy, personal righteousness or individual effort, they were able to change their gayness or SSA even a little bit. 0% indicated that their SSA went away or was cured.
Add all of this to the statistics that the author1 already researched and conceded are directly relevant:
- Utah’s suicide rate among people age 15-24 is 9th highest in the United States, among 47 states with reliable data (CDC, 2013)
- Utah’s suicide rate among males age 15-24 is 7th highest, among 46 states with reliable data (CDC, 2013)
- Utah’s suicide rate among females age 15-24 cannot be reported as the number of cases is smaller than 20 (CDC, 2013)
- Utah’s overall suicide rate is 5th highest in the United States (CDC, 2013)
- Utah is 29th out of 40 states with available data for the rate of high school students who have attempted suicide (not completed suicide) (CDC, 2013)
- Suicide is the second leading cause of death for Utahns age 10-17. (Utah Department of Health, 2012)
- Across 9 sites surveyed (all in the Midwestern or Eastern US and California), lesbian and gay high school students had a rate of attempted suicide that was approximately 4 times higher than for straight students (CDC, 2011)
I would add to this a Church article5 from as far back as 1994 where it was identified and acknowledged that the most at-risk teens are “those who have gender identity problems and have had a personal crisis. The largest single group of teen suicides, about one-third of the total, are from this group.” At the time this was written, gender identity problems would have been inclusive of gender orientation as well.
So my question to you is, “Do these claims appear to be fabricated to you?”
How many warning signs and evidence need to be accumulated until we can even acknowledge there is a problem? No one wants to admit that there may be fault within their religious culture. But lives are at stake. Faith is at stake. The faith of those who are driven from their faith by their own family or in their houses of worship. I don’t need to guess or surmise if this is the case. It is my first-hand experience.
Elder Cook pleads on mormonsandgays.org:
“As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”
Currently we fall way short of this mandate. Our denial of the problem perpetuates the problem. Because of our religious defensiveness, we will wait until a specific study that is nothing short of a smoking gun spells out in precise detail the problem.
Recently, my wife had a dream (nightmare). She dreamt that we were at a Ward Pool Party. Everyone was swimming and pleasant, enjoying the sun and hot dogs. A very Mormon event. She eventually jumps in the pool for a swim. As she looks below the surface of the water, she notices babies lying still at the bottom of the pool. She screams for help. She pleads for everyone to jump in the water and try to save the babies at the bottom of the pool. But with the waves, the depth of the pool, the glare of the sun on the water and everyone being distracted by the fun of the party, no one acts.
How long do we have to hear the voice of warning before we look below the surface of the water? Does the voice of warning have to be a revelation from the lips of the prophet before we act? Do we have to wait decades after each civil rights movement for specific revelation to give the final OK for what is morally right? Or can we start saving lives today.
2 http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/family-videos
3 http://www.sltrib.com/lifestyle/faith/2106982-155/in-major-move-mormon-apostles-call?page=2
4 http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/19359705.2014.912970#.VMfSb2jF9Wa
Thomas Montgomery
TOM MONTGOMERY has been writing on the intersection of LDS and LGBT issues since 2012. He was an active member of the LDS Church until 2016. His journey covers going door-to-door in support of Prop 8 in California to having a great love for the LGBT Mormon community. He says that his single qualification to be in this esteemed company of authors is the privilege of being the father of a wonderful gay son. This has been a very spiritual journey. His greatest priority is being 100% supportive of the health and well-being of LGBT Mormon youth and adults in or out of Mormonism. Tom has written articles for Rational Faiths (http://rationalfaiths.com/author/thomas-montgomery/) and No More Strangers (http://www.nomorestrangers.org/grace/).
All posts by Thomas Montgomery
Thank you, Tom. It’s sad and frustrating that this conversation even needs to be had within the virtual walls of our church community.
Thought I’d chime in–I’m the author of the Virtuous Society blog post you referred to. I appreciate this response to what I wrote. I agree with you on the most important things: gay teen suicide is a real and tragic problem, including among Mormon teens. We all need to be reaching out to gay youth–many of us need to do better than we have done. It’s great that you’re raising awareness. I concluded my article with what I thought was the most important message for all of us to remember:
“Those who believe in Latter-day Saint sexual values and those who do not should be able to agree: one youth suicide is too many, including among gay youth. Even if the Mormon problem is not unique, it is still a problem. We don’t need statistics, and certainly not unsourced statistics, to tell us this.”
But you’ve misrepresented me. I did not attack Wendy Montgomery or John Dehlin. In fact, I took care not to say anything negative about their character or motives. My intention is not to divide people against each other. However, I did offer some civil criticism. When I was referring to a fabricated claim, I was being specific. The claim was Wendy’s: “Mormons have the highest rate of gay teen suicides in the country.” This is from her interview in the Huffington Post. I stand by what I said: the claim is unsupported by data. It cannot be reasonably inferred from any data that do exist.
I also want to point out that you left out two of the data points I gave in my post in your list. Here they are:
“A representative survey of students in Grades 7-12 across the US using the Add-Health database found that Mormon gay teens reported significantly less depression and fewer suicidal thoughts than their nonreligious peers. (Add-Health, 2010)
The same survey found that religious gay teens had a lower attempted suicide rate than nonreligious gay teens (the number of cases did not allow for statistical significance, however).”
Last thing. The information you’ve offered here is very important. It establishes that there is indeed a problem with gay teen suicide among Mormons, as I said in my post. And I thank you for your efforts in bringing this problem to the attention of more people. But this is a different claim from saying that Mormons have a unique or particularly severe problem, or that they have the “highest rate” of gay teen suicides, or that this problem is the “fault” of Mormon teachings or culture. The information you’ve given doesn’t allow this inference. The information that does exist on the edges of this question perhaps even leans against it.
Thanks again for your post.
Could you expound on the parenthetical statement in your cited sources, Tom? What is the significance of “(the number of cases did not allow for statistical significance, however)”?
Explain it to lowly layman. 🙂
Tom, perhaps in the spirit of accurately representing people’s statements you would like to edit your article to clarify that in the same article you cited Wendy, she also said, “It’s hard to know if all of these are LGBT-related because the parents, especially if they’re Mormon, won’t admit to it. So it’s really difficult to have accurate statistics.” The conclusion of your whole article was actually stated by Wendy in the original article you are taking to task. Kind of makes your whole article a bit superfluous really.
You may also want to cite that Wendy has spoken directly with nurses and doctors at local Utah hospitals and homeless shelters in Utah. I am sure your research was as thorough.
And last, while we are at it, please note that Wendy is married and should be referred to as Mrs. Montgomery.
I’ve already posted this on Tom Stringham’s article, but I thought I’d comment here, too. The two data points that Thomas left out on this post are the two that I consider the least reliable. See this comment thread for additional details: http://virtuoussociety.com/2015/01/26/re-examining-gay-mormon-youth-and-suicide-what-does-the-data-say/comment-page-1/#comment-1913
Why do people continue to fight this? One shunned kid or family is too many! We should be fighting that so it doesn't come to suicide. Makes me angry.
Thanks to both Tom and Thomas for digging into this. Between the two articles and comments I feel like the truth (at least in its statistical form) has been made more accessible. I think I now have a much better grasp of what data are available, what the data in its very limited form do (and don’t yet say), and also a sense for the importance of protecting and supporting those who are especially at risk in our communities. To me, it looks like more data should be collected on the topic, but we needn’t wait to both raise awareness and act.
Again, sincere thanks to you both!
Beautiful and Stunning!!! I'm with the ALL the Montgomerys, it's time the health and well-being of our most VULNERABLE youth have a place to rest their head and feel loved and welcomed!!! xooxoxo
Love you Tom! Thank you for your hard work and all of the much needed support you give to an aching community. People need to realize that the reason there aren't finite stats available about LGBT suicides is because such things often happen as a result of rejection from family or community. When it is up to this same family to report the cause of death, admitting that their child was an LGBT child or that their chlid felt rejected is probably the last thing most parents would ever want to admit or claim in any way. The guilt and shame associated with this is far too much for many parents to ever associate with; not to mention that they are still mourning the loss of their child. So until the stigma is erased completely, we never will have solid statistics. Until then, we have the amazing work that the Family Acceptance Project and John Dehlin have done to spread awareness and as much research as can possibly be rendered. One life lost in shame or death is too many. I don't need finite statistics to have eyes to see the damage that anti-LGBT rhetoric has caused and continues to inflict. You and Wendy have my endless support and thanks for your work. Thanks again for another wonderful, heartful, researched article.
Dear Loran,
Homosexuality is not a choice.
It is hard-wired into our systems what genders we are attracted to.
God has given us this.
Why do you fight against God?
Great as always, Brother Montgomery.
Honestly? I don’t even really care.
I know. I’m terrible. But i just don’t care. We’ve all got problems. Got plenty of my own. Don’t need to continually hear about someone else’s problem. The LGBTQFGHIJKL whatever people don’t seem to care about my problems. Why should i care about theirs?
When are gays gonna demonstrate for mid-singles’ rights? Or the rights of old people who smell bad and no one wants to visit them? What about single men who can’t be in bishoprics? when are they going to lobby for me to get a better-paying job? Everybody has trials. Everybody has it rough. Get over yourselves.
Hard to demonstrate for rights you already have.
Everybody does have trials, but there are trials and problems we can actually solve when pushing for equality for all people and moving society further toward empathy, rather than apathy which you demonstrate.
Thank you for a thoughtful and well-researched article.
This article completely ignores the argument that was actually made by those addressing Dehlin's unsupported claims about suicide. First, it doesn't matter what his research says, because the claims that he is making are not about his research. While expertise is nice it still doesn't make up for not actually having the results that are claimed. Second, this article completely ignores the role of altitude, which actually has been shown to be an important factor in suicidality among both gay and straight individuals. For references that actually do address these significant shortcomings of the article, please see the following:
https://dearjohndehlin.wordpress.com/2015/01/27/dehlins-mormon-mental-health-claims-and-facts/