Many of you have probably seen different versions of the “Straight Pride” image (see the version I provide here to the left). They have been appearing in higher frequency on social media and I have, for the most part, ignored them for reasons I will explain below. It was not until a friend of mine recently shared the image on their Facebook wall that I felt I needed to respond to this trend.
The idea of “heterosexual pride” or “straight pride” has its intellectual roots in the 1980’s and 1990’s[1] as a political response to “gay pride.” As discussed in the 1993 Massachusetts Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, there were demonstrations at Harvard University’s fourth annual Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Studies conferences, and only a couple of years before at Mt. Holyoke College and the University of Massachusetts-Amherst.[2] These responses were generated out of an intense antagonism toward the LGBT community, to the point of Young American for Freedom (YAF) leaders waving Bibles and American Flags, shouting “vitriolic denouncements of lesbians, gays, and bisexuals.”[3] These groups were not formed to honor their own sexuality, standards, or belief, but were instead created to comment specifically on Gay Pride in an antagonistic way.
Many people think that by making the statement that they are proud to be straight or heterosexual should not be taken in any way as offensive because the LGBT community calls for gay pride, especially during the Gay Pride Parade. There is a problem with that assumption that needs to be addressed if people wish to claim “heterosexual pride.”
There are myriad reasons for holding the Gay Pride Parade and Gay Pride Month in June. Many people I see discussing the topic often seem to think that it is simply the LGBT community pressing their “agenda”[4] into the public conscience. There is so much more to the story than this. We seem to have forgotten about the riots in the late 1960’s that led to what LGBT Pride Month commemorates. It was routine in the 1960’s for the police to raid gay bars, which were some of the only establishments at the time that allowed the LGBT community services. Fed up with the treatment that they were receiving, the Stonewall Riots were a response from the LGBT community against these police raids and are now widely seen as the single most important event for liberating the LGBT community. By 1970 the first Gay Pride marches were taking place in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago in commemoration of these riots. The parades are not in and of themselves meant to share a specific agenda other than remembering that we are all one people; that we need to respect and love one another’s circumstances; and that the abuse that Americans have shown each other in the past is not to be tolerated and has to end. It is to this end that the Gay Pride parades are carried out: to demand the same respect from the respective surrounding communities they live in that the heterosexual community enjoys, and to do this through making statements such as the early “Gay is good” by Frank Kameny, inspired by Stokley Carmichael’s even earlier “Black is Beautiful.”
The fact that our community would call out for “heterosexual pride” stuns me. I find it intellectually void and mentally draining. The fact that individuals would first claim this, and then others would continue it, baffles me. To clarify, and make sure this is clear, I am married to a loving wife. We have one child, and are extremely happy. I am proud to be the individual that I am, but I am also proud when others find themselves and live their lives the best way that they see fit, as long as they provide the same respect for others. As proud as I am, I could never, in good conscience, claim “heterosexual pride” because it is in too much of a response to the LGBT community and their deserved Gay Pride. They have earned that pride through their suffering in a way that I have not.
I have never been bullied for being straight; I have never been beaten for finding girls attractive; I have never had to come out to my parents that I find girls attractive, risking the possibility of changing my relationship with them forever, for better or worse; I have never been kicked out and disowned by my parents because I am heterosexual; I have never been told by the government that I cannot adopt a child with my wife because we cohabitate;[5] I have never been fired for being heterosexual; I have never lost a friend for coming out heterosexual to them; I was not denied the ability to marry my wife; I have never been told that I will not make it to heaven because I am heterosexual; I have never have my life threatened, my property stolen or damaged for being heterosexual.[6] Nothing negative has ever happened in my life because of my sexuality, and because of that I am grateful, but at the same time I feel for the LGBT community that they have to go through every one of those experiences listed above and more. I cannot stand the inability of the people of our age to see outside of themselves for only a few moments to see life in another’s shoes. I think it is important to look outside of ourselves for a moment if we (the privileged majority) are going to make statements like those made in the image. For me, once reflecting on the past is done, I revise my mindset accordingly and move on, hoping that the empathy I have been granted through this experience will allow me the ability to reach out to those who see it important to actually claim pride for who they are.
Today we might think that being “politically correct” in an “upside down”[7] society is a negative thing, but if we retroject this view of life back to the 19th century we see it is exactly what the Saints were hoping for when they cried out for help and redress in Missouri and Ohio. They were the ethnic minority (and they were viewed as an ethnicity, see Terryl Givens, Viper on the Hearth [New York: Oxford University Press, 1997], 49), and therefore did not receive help because lawmakers of the time saw themselves going against the majority if they helped Joseph Smith and others reclaim property in Missouri. Sometimes it is more right to be loving than follow the strict rules of a democratic society. This is why being “politically correct” is important for our day. I am also unashamed that I am straight, but that is (and I would expect you would agree) because I think that no one should be ashamed of who they are as long as they are kind and loving to others and true to themselves.
I think the author of the above image simply has it wrong, and this image will propagate to thousands of people who will not realize the real damage the picture will cause. To me, to continue to use my above analogy, it would be the same as descendants of the mob who committed the massacre at Haun’s Mill in 1838 going up to the survivors and their children afterward and saying, “Mob Pride,” or something to that effect. Many people might not realize this because they forget the real suffering the LGBT community has had to go through which is the cause for them to cry out for pride; to make the statement that they are not ashamed and that they will not conform to the majority’s views the same as those early would not conform to the views of the Missiourians.
To end, I have to state along with Davey Wavey that the reason “there is no straight pride parade is because life is a straight pride parade.”[8] Society already accepts heterosexuality and therefore provides for the needs of the straight community. I plead with those who read this to rethink these images and the ideological framework that holds up the very political statement “heterosexual/straight pride.
[1] Massachusetts. Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth., p.20. http://www.massresistance.org/docs/downloads/romney/CommReport_Making_Colleges_Safe_7-93.pdf
[2] Massachusetts. Governor’s Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth., p.22.
[3] Ibid.
[4] See the recent statements by the Benham brothers in their CNN interview here.
[5] According to Utah law, gay couples who are cohabitating are not eligible to adopt children. See http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=29418509.
[6] To clarify, I came up with this list before I saw Davey Wavey’s video. His list is very similar, yet very different, to mine.
[7] What exactly constitutes an “upside down” society? I think that Missouri had an upside down society during the time that it was legal to kill a person simply because they were Mormon. I see the society that discriminates the minority in behalf of the majority as upside down. I view the society that accepts every single individual within that society as someone important and necessary and needed for the life and breath of continuance of that society as a right-side up society. The more open and loving we are to one another, no matter our differences, the better our society will be.
[8] See the video here. See 1:35-40.
This was great, thank you.
Thank you Daniel!
Really thought-provoking piece, Colby. Well done!
Thanks Ana!
You didn’t mention that some straight folks find the behavior at gay parades offensive including nudity, wearing only underwear, bondage clothing, handing out condoms, etc. And we ought not forget that other groups have had their rights trampled including Jews, Mormons, Asains in interment camps, women, and on and on.
I’m not anti gay and have no issues with gays who wish to be happy but I’m uncomfortable with labels. I don’t identify myself as Jason the white Republican Mormon straight fat guy. I’m just Jason. Why must we put a label on ourselves like gay, straight, or whatever. What you do in your bedroom and with whom is not my business and I don’t care. I like you for who you are.
Jason,
Thank you for commenting. You’ll notice that I do discuss how Mormons’ rights have been trampled in their experience in Missouri. I could also discuss the other examples of Jews, Asians, Native Americans, and others in this context, but I wrote for a specific purpose: to help people in the church realize that using images like the “straight pride” example are not conducive to inviting Christlike love to those in our community. It is more than a slap in the face to claim “straight pride” when you and I have not gone through the experiences I listed above that I have not experienced.
I don’t attend the Gay Pride Parades. I honestly don’t attend any parades, for that matter, so I am unable to comment about some of the actions of some of those involved. Obviously there are laws that restrict public nudity, among other things (there is an Undie Run in Salt Lake City of all places), and therefore as long as the police and lawmakers see the pride parades within those laws then I will not complain.
Also, labels identify us for who we are and what kinds of relationships we have with one another. For the gay and lesbian community their sexual orientation sets them apart from the community. This began and is only enforced within the constructs our society has held for more than the last century. In the 1950’s this community was simply labeled the derogatory “queer” (remember ‘Smear the Queer’?). Originally a negative term, the LGBT community have taken this designation to their advantage. Many will actually add the Q to LGBT, so that it is LGBTQ. As much as I agree with you that labels can be uncomfortable, for many people labels allow them a kind of peace that can only be found once they embrace that label. It’s different for others than for us. I honestly prefer extremely vague terms for myself because I rarely ever feel that I fit labels (for example, I am neither Republican or Democrat, I am independent).
It is not us that applies labels to ourselves or to others; rather, it is the society that we have inherited that has already applied them for us. We might come up with new terms every once in a while for new circumstances, but that is based on the accepted norms we already have. I think the only way to get rid of labels would be to perform a complete overhaul of the structure of our society and create a new one that includes no labels. Other than that, I think we’re stuck with them whether we like them or not.
Pride is of itself not a path God wants us to take. The straight pride image is more of satire though but probably falls in line with loud laughter and speaking lightly of sacred things.
Gay pride on the other hand is pure pride! It is not humility it is not inline with the attitude of meekness or other key characteristics of Christ. In many ways its a slap in the face to those who choose to keep their appetites and other passions within the lord’s bounds.
It is easy to sin as the contention stirred up by this issue is meant to drive us away from Christ. The article itself lends to the contention as it makes outrageous claims as if straight couples have done such atrocious things as the mobs of Missouri. That is somewhat of a stretch even if a family member is told they are not wanted at home due to their gay behavior.
Please stop the lie that Same gender attraction is not sin or acceptable to God. He loves us all but hates our sins and cannot allow us to enter back into his presence in our sins.
Ammon, I would recommend reading Hery’s comments below. I will also clarify a few things for you regarding my essay.
“Pride is of itself not a path God wants us to take.”
That is true to a certain extent. Arrogant, self-centered, egotistic pride leads to loss of love and feeling for others. This is the kind of pride we see in the Book of Mormon which leads to the “pride cycle.” There is a very healthy and important kind of pride in oneself that is needed to go about the day. This “pride” is the kind discussed by Hery below, as Hery says, it is “the opposite of shame.” It is being comfortable with one’s self enough to go out into the world and accomplish things. Without this kind of pride (which is really humility in my honest opinion; it is recognizing our true selves) no one would be able to do what they do.
“The straight pride image is more of satire though but probably falls in line with loud laughter and speaking lightly of sacred things.”
The straight pride image is not only satire, it is hurtful and demeaning. It does not help in the current discussion of same sex attraction, but instead directs attention to anger and fighting instead of coming together and discussing differing viewpoints. It is a huge slap in the face for the reasons I provide in the post above.
“Gay pride on the other hand is pure pride! It is not humility it is not inline with the attitude of meekness or other key characteristics of Christ. In many ways its a slap in the face to those who choose to keep their appetites and other passions within the lord’s bounds.”
Do you have any close friends or family that are gay? There are a number of individuals within the community that probably fit your description, but read my essay again. I provided the background information of the suffering of the LGBT community and the founding of Gay Pride month for this very reason.
So you are claiming that the use of the term “Gay Pride” is a slap in the face to the community (which you and I are a part of) that for many years persecuted and killed people simply because they were gay? I completely disagree with you. I’ll discuss the problematic assumption you have that your argument rests on in a moment.
“It is easy to sin as the contention stirred up by this issue is meant to drive us away from Christ. The article itself lends to the contention as it makes outrageous claims as if straight couples have done such atrocious things as the mobs of Missouri.”
I didn’t say anything about straight couples, I said everything about heterosexuals in the past and those today who would persecute anyone simply due to their homosexuality. I am glad you noticed my comparison to the mobs in Missouri, but did it make sense to you? Did you see what I was saying? I am asking us to not be those mobs; I am claiming that those in the past (some mobs, some individuals) who have persecuted the gay community are in line with those who persecuted and killed the saints in Missouri due to their “ethnic” religion (see the note to Terryl Givens’ book above). This is everything about you and I waking up, throwing off the chains of our inherited prejudice and assumptions that this is a simple black and white issue and loving our neighbor, and maybe for you loving your enemy.
You say that my comparison is somewhat of a stretch “even if a family member is told they are not wanted at home due to their gay behavior.” That is not what I am saying, but I will apply what you say. Your comparison would actually fit quite well with those in the mid- to late-1830s whose family members were joining our church, but decided to disown them due to their belief and feelings. That would be a more accurate parallel if we were to apply yours. My parallel still stands; those who have, will, or are now persecuting people of our community simply because of same sex attraction are like the members of mobs who persecuted the early saints.
“Please stop the lie that Same gender attraction is not sin or acceptable to God. He loves us all but hates our sins and cannot allow us to enter back into his presence in our sins.”
You’ll notice that I never said anything about whether or not same sex (gender is different than sex, you can look that up if you would like to learn) attraction is a sin. I agree theologically that any sexual act outside of a legal, lawful marriage is a sin. That is my personal belief inherited through my religion and my church. Theologically I am perfectly fine with it, but I will not press or insult someone else simply because I believe or feel that. Also, I have sinned enough to know that I will never be the first to correct someone else.
But, this discussion is even more complicated. Pres. Uchtdorf has discussed the issue before (conference center, October 24, 2010), and said that we don’t know why these individuals of our community are gay but we know that they are. This is not simply a “stop acting like you’re gay” issue. It is “these people are gay and were created that way.”
Biological gender and sexual attraction are much more complicated than you and I would assume. What of those who are born with both female and male reproductive systems? Are they male? Are they female? Are they something in-between or outside of that? If so, where do they fit in the eternities? There was recently a man admitted to the hospital for kidney stones and he found out he had a uterus. Where does he fit in the eternities? It is simply much more complicated of an issue to make the binary statements you do above.
For the man who found out he had a uterus, go here: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/05/25/man-admitted-to-hospital-for-kidney-stone-discovers-hes-a-woman/.
Dude you have way to much time on your hands, if ur gay like great for you like honestly Dabs bro but no one could care less about it, I mean you didn’t see a bunch of straight guys writng novels about random stuff that is irrelevant to life
Wow, Colby, this is one of my favorite posts I’ve seen on this blog- I am totally blown away by the insight you demonstrate here, and you write it with such love. Thank you.
One point I have for the above commenter about Gay Pride and the issue of pride; it is clear to me that the use of the word pride in this context does not mean the opposite of humility, but rather the opposite of shame. As in, society has told some of our brothers and sisters that they are ‘less than’, that we know better than they what is best for them, and that they should be ashamed of who they are. So for them to demonstrate Gay Pride (or women’s pride, ethnic pride, etc. etc. etc) is to reject the shame that society has told them they deserve. I love this use of the word.
Hery,
Thank you for you kind comment. I agree with you in regards to Ammon’s comment; this pride is not the kind of individual pride that we believe God would be against, but pride in oneself to be able to go out into the world and do things without feeling second-class or close to nothing. This is a healthy pride for mind, body, and spirit, a different kind of pride that leads to the negative effects of the “pride cycle.” Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and I’m glad you enjoyed the read.
Straight people are not a minority and never will be. Gays only make up a small part of society and people discriminate against us often. Straights don’t get denied of their privileges due to being straight. Everyone is thought to be straight until proven wrong. Every day is straight pride day. When they get abused for holding hands or trying to get married then we will talk. To me gay pride isn’t about myself but those still living in fear or under persecution. It’s our role to teach, you can be gay and free. That’s the point of pride. Just because what i said shows my pride on being gay, doesn’t mean it is wrong to be proud to be straight. Instead of wondering why there isn’t a straight pride movement, be thankful you don’t need one.
I have been bullied for being straight. Am I entitled to straight pride, even if you are not?
.
Perfect!
Um, I'm straight. I don't know if I'm proud to be straight. I mean… I have dark hair too, I'm not sure I'm proud of that either. I'm a little bit proud of my hazel eyes. I'm not proud because they're hazel, but because lots of people tell me I have beautiful eyes! At any rate, I'm NOT ashamed to have hazel eyes, or dark hair, or to be a heterosexual. I think THAT is really the point that the people who ressurected "straight pride" were going for. It isn't so much about being "proud" as simply "not being ashamed"
#StraightPride is needed because homosexuals trample on the rights of good honest decent Americans by pushing their sexual deviant agenda. They attempt to get the idea that they can’t help who they are attracted to normalized within society so that soon they can push that pedophiles can also not help their attraction, homosexuals push that their deviant behavior happens in nature soon pedophiles will be pointing out that their behavior also happens in nature. As a society we need to stand up against these types of things and realize that though most pedophiles/child molesters claim to be heterosexual they tend to molest children of the same gender as they are making them homosexuals. Stand up against these types of things #StraightPride
I’ve got a straight pride sticker on my car. Homosexuality is degenerate behavior. It should not be outlawed, but nobody should be forced to support that behavior. Therefore I will #StraightPride all day.
Just came across this. Hans, I believe your analysis about what “straight pride” means is completely off base. I can’t control what you believe, so if you want to make up some fantasy interpretation and become offended about what’s not intended, that’s your problem, not ours.
I find it hilarious that some in the gay community feel that they have to advertise with a double bar symbol or striped flag decal on their car, so the only reason I would have a straight pride decal on my car would be be to provide a sarcastic reply.