For those of you waiting for my next speculative, theological post, I’m sorry to put you off a month. Maybe I’ll get you a new, Plan of Salvation, home evening lesson by Christmas. That’s probably a good time for it. I need to write about something more immediate.
One of my very favorite LDS books is Hugh Nibley’s Brother Brigham Challenges the Saints. I honestly think reading it has made me a better Latter-day Saint and a better person. It reinforced my concern for education and the environment. It strengthened my view of the Gospel as a call to action rather than an abstract plan. One of the essays that has stuck with me is titled “Criticizing the Brethren“. I’ll let you read it or not, but there are a lot of good instructions in it about how God really is in charge, and not much good comes from being critical of His servants–or of anyone else, for that matter. My interest in gossip decreased significantly after reading Nibley, and my interest in judging others, too. Some of you might not believe it given my personal post of two weeks ago.
I wrote about my sadness at the one directional public “dialogue” on women’s rights in the LDS church. I shared my support for Ordain Women in asking for a two directional dialogue and for their desires to be taken to the Lord in prayer. I shared my fear that I would be seated on the pews without my family in future years, because the increasingly evident (our culture is changing, and sometimes for the better) inequalities experienced by women would keep them from having the patience or commitment to experience the joys of the Gospel and the LDS church that I have. I was critical of the Brethren.
I’m a Critic
I reread parts of Nibley’s essay just yesterday as I was rearranging my bookshelves, and I asked myself, am I any different from the critics of the past?
Am I steadying the ark? I have publicly said the church needs to fix something seemingly central to its function and possibly its doctrine.
Am I setting up my own learning over the councils of God? I have said that research has shown that empowering women makes many areas of the world better. I’ve implied (rather bluntly) that this is so measurably evident that speaking against empowering women equally with men in the LDS church, in the name of God, is unjustified, even for those called as Prophets and Apostles. I’ve implied that those who speak against this empowerment are more responsible for destroying faith than those who leave because of Feminist beliefs.
I’ve expressed fear that choices of my called leaders will result in my sitting on the pews alone not too many years from now. I was a critic.
I’m not going to retract what I’ve said and written. I’ve tried to be careful and true. I’ve tried to share my understanding and acknowledge that authentic revelation may lead church leaders to do differently than I would wish. I know that my understanding of what is at stake for church members world wide is lacking. I realize these are multidimensional problem for which there may be no solutions without serious flaws. So I criticized reluctantly, but I can’t find the will or the need to repent of these actions. I guess in some lights that makes me an unrepentant critic, and I have to live with that. I do find myself asking how I can remain strong in the LDS church without just getting in line and accepting things–things I know are hurtful in their current forms, and think are likely wrong in any eternal society. I don’t know the answer, but I’ll share what I’m trying.
I’m Trying
I’m listening to and reading General Conference, again. I’m being selective. Not every talk was ever meant for me, and I’m not emotionally able to listen to one more talk about gender roles or sex in any of its aspects without getting too upset to really listen. So I’m listening to what I can and trying to take the messages to heart. I’m trying to figure out how I can share the Gospel, and what that means for me now. I’m trying to pray, love, and serve better.
I’ve found an online friend that I’m trying to read the scriptures with every week. We don’t know what we’re doing, but we want to learn more than we can get in Sunday School, and we want to support one another’s faith.
I’m praying more about my role in the kingdom. I used to imagine it would be a standard, established role. I would be totally active in the church. I would accept all the callings that came my way, eventually serving in local leadership roles. I would seek out people and help lead them to baptism and the temple. I don’t know, any more. I want to be a witness of Christ in the world, but I’m not sure what the best way is to do that. I need to be a father, a husband, a teacher, and a chemist–I know God has called me to do those things. I figure I need to work on knowing Christ better and the witnessing will sort itself out. So I’m taking baby steps to know Christ better. It’s hard, since I always figured He had more pressing things to do than to hang out with me, despite my believing He loved me.
I’m looking for ways to serve my economically struggling community. I don’t know what I can do, but I’m looking, asking, and trying to prepare myself to do what I can. I’m trying to get to know people from the other churches in the area. I’m trying to help students get involved in community service.
I’m continuing to share my heart with my family and friends who feel distant, alone, or marginalized by the LDS church. They hurt in ways I don’t fully comprehend, but I know the pain is real, and I hope I can share it. About 10 years ago, an Indian Christian, and former pastor, from the tradition descended from the visit of Thomas the Apostle to India after the resurrection of Christ, shared a saying with me as we rode on the train from the airport into Baltimore: “Sorrow shared is sorrow halved. Joy shared is joy doubled.” That’s my poor paraphrase of his awkward translation, but I remember the beauty of the moment when he spoke with me.
It’s Not a Choice for Me
For me, being a Latter-day Saint isn’t really a choice. I’ve been blessed to believe in God. I’ve been blessed with experiences and knowledge that give me great confidence in the Prophets and Apostles from Joseph Smith to today. I’ll admit to having sought out many of these experiences, but they were gifts, nonetheless. I can’t help but echo my great-great-great-grandfather George Cannon that an evil-minded man could not have written the Book of Mormon, and a good man would not have written it with intent to deceive. So if I left the church, it likely would be because I was kicked out for sinning, or I left to support a child who needed my love more than I needed to belong to the church. It wouldn’t be because I couldn’t believe any more. That’s not a reality open to me. So I’ll try to make some of my heroes my guides. I’ll try to use the Gospel to call everyone to repentance–especially myself. I’ll try to speak truth and trust that truth will win in the end. I’ll try to teach my children faith in the good things I believe in, and show them an example of service and love. I’ll talk with my fellow saints, including my leaders, when they are willing to listen and know that I love them, and I’ll try to be patient and trust God when it seems my fellow men aren’t seeing what I see. I’ll try to know Christ better. I’ll just keep trying. I feel more peace with that than I have in some time.
Jonathan Cannon
Jonathan lives in rural Georgia with his wife and three boys, teaching Chemistry and enjoying the good people of his community. He studied Molecular Biology at Brigham Young University, and Biophysics at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. Jonathan is passionate about fatherhood, teaching and learning, Mormonism, and dance (he's much better at the first three), and dabbles in home repairs, various crafts, poetry, music, gardening, and Transhumanism. He has enjoyed many years working in Primary, with Young Adults and Ward Missions in various capacities. He currently enjoys serving in his ward and community however he is able. He posts on whatever interests him at the moment at http://jonathan.metacannon.net/
All posts by Jonathan Cannon
Amen brother
You crazy man! Loved it – how can one criticize and honest musing of the heart. Those quick to judge and point fingers – need to think more and talk less…..so I will go think some more
AS my brother wrote when he signed off an email
Give ’em Heaven J!
I love Nibley’s stuff too, as he was able to be a critic without being critical. It’s something I’m working on, for sure.
That being said, I don’t think Nibley would have supported what the modern church has devolved into, basically a worship-fest of men, particularly twice a year at Conference time. Consider this quote from Temple and Cosmos:
“We don’t have a professional clergy–a paid ministry that gives official interpretation of the scriptures–as we’ve always said we don’t. There’s no office in the Church that qualifies the holder to give the official interpretation of the Church. We’re to read the scriptures for ourselves, as guided by the Spirit.”
That’s a powerful statement. Would it be critical to stand up and defend this doctrine to those who insist that every statement coming from LDS, Inc. Headquarters is directly from the mouth of the Lord?
To answer your last question first, I’d say yes, but it doesn’t matter because it is true. I also don’t think the message you and Nibley are condemning is really the message the Prophets and Apostles are trying to send. I think it is a cultural phenomenon, and I think it is one favored quite naturally as the church expands in both geographic and cultural diversity. I tend to think it is a problem that needs to be combated both individually and structurally, but that we are only being taught to combat it individually. That message helps reduce abuses of power, but will never minimize them. This is the disconnect I imagine is going on, but I can’t know without more insight into the discussions that are happening. Church leaders see many problems, and many of them can be solved through standardization and correlation. They see other problems that are more difficult and decide that those need to be solved on an individual basis. A woman being ignored at church is a problem with one church leader. An LGBTQ youth being shunned is a problem with a family or local community not really living the gospel they are being taught. There isn’t much publicly available evidence that leaders view these as problems which need to be treated structurally within the institution, as well, and that standardization and correlation will always have negative effects, along with the positive ones.
I do think that President Benson’s push to have us all learn the scriptures for ourselves, the professionalization of LDS history, and the empowering of the youth to teach themselves will all have long term effects of decentralizing doctrinal authority, but it will take years to realize fully. It’s stuff like this that has created our current generation of critical, internet Mormonism–that and the internet.
I always enjoy your articles, Jonathan. Your honesty and sincerity are inspiring and beautiful. Keep it up, my friend.
Dear Johnathan,
Your post strikes me straight to the spirit. You see I have been where you are, and I mourn for those who have to pass this experience to gain greater knowledge. I applaud you for not giving up. Keep going!
Is criticizing sinning? When you wrote “So I criticized reluctantly, but I can’t find the will or the need to repent of these actions. I guess in some light that makes me an unrepentant critic, and I have to live with that”; I asked myself “Is criticizing sinning?” The only and final conclusion I come to is this: IT TAKES A MOVEMENT, and a movement begins with criticizing (another word for assessing).
Thank you William Tyndale for assessing (criticizing) the Roman Catholic dogma that once taunted Tyndale with the statement, “We are better to be without God’s laws than the Pope’s”. Tyndale was infuriated by such Roman Catholic heresies, and he replied, “I defy the Pope and all his laws. If God spare my life ere many years, I will cause the boy that drives the plow to know more of the scriptures than you!” We have access to the scriptures because he assessed(criticized).
Thank you Congress for passing the 1882 Edmunds Act which restated that polygamy was a felony and punishable by law. Thank you Congress for assessing (criticizing) the actions of a peculiar people; if it had not been for Congress I would be a very sad wife #3.
And Finally, Thank You Civil Rights Movement for assessing (criticizing) a discriminating practice within the LDS church that hurt black families.
Therefore, I ask again, is criticizing a sin?
Do not wait for the day as you put it “eventually serving in local leadership roles”, because right now you serve as a leader in a worldwide role when you create your posts…..Keep up the good work.
Maryann
Thank you, Maryann.
I do think that accepting compromise is a healthy reality that is hard for me to live. I want to be right ALL the time. So I’m finding that place where I can contribute to the movement I value most (the Plan of Salvation in its entire complexity), and not compromise one component ideal (e.g. equality for women) any more than is absolutely necessary to support other ideals (e.g. trust in God’s chosen leaders). I hope the future will relieve conflict between these two ideals.