Guest Post by Naomi Watkins
I’ve written before about the negative (and ridiculous) things I’ve been told by people over the years concerning my educational and professional aspirations and achievements. When people hear these stories, their reactions often fall into three camps: 1) they are completely incredulous that these types of sentiments are not only still believed, but still said, 2) they nod their heads and relate someone else’s story, or 3) they share stories of their own.
I am told stories by and of young women attending a spectrum of universities, many of them top-notch, who desire to highly educate themselves; who may want to use these talents and skills inside and outside of the home; who are bright, enthusiastic, and able. They have taken Gordon B. Hinckley’s counsel to heart:
“The whole gamut of human endeavor is now open to women. There is not anything that you cannot do if you will set your mind to it. I am grateful that women today are afforded the same opportunity to study for science, for the professions, and for every other facet of human knowledge…You can include in the dream of the woman you would like to be a picture of one qualified to serve society and make a significant contribution to the world of which she will be a part.” [1]
But an apparent disconnect exists between President Hinckley’s counsel to young women and what they are often told by many church and family members and friends: hold back; be less than who you are and who you want to and can be.
Young women with these ambitions are often told that no one will marry them, that they will educate their way out of the LDS dating pool, that they wouldn’t want to have more degrees or earn more money than their husbands. They are told that education is good, but not to get too much. They are told to forsake their aspirations for engineering or philosophy or business because these fields are “unladylike” or have no use in the world of motherhood. They are told that college is the time to have fun and find a spouse because never again will there be a place with such a robust selection, so hurry! They are told that by pursuing an education and career, they must despise wifehood and motherhood—that pursuit of both, if they desire, cannot happen simultaneously, that if they were “good” mothers, they would be content to with mothering. They are told that a pretty face and a model physique (hot, but not too hot) are more important than having curiosity and smarts—that it is physical appearance that will catch them mates not their brains. And unfortunately, many times women not only give credence to, but they believe these lies. They tell stories of holding back and waiting, of forgoing their educational and career dreams, of choosing more “ladylike” majors, of dropping out of school, of living with regret.
I would really like these types of stories, and the cultural lies, to be things of the past.
Instead, President Hinckley’s truth is what needs to be more prominently promoted, shared, and repeated.
I remember listening to President Hinckley’s words in person (don’t you miss this man?) and being powerfully struck by their potential and truth. Over the pulpit, from the mouth of a prophet, my own aspirations and ambitions, and those of other women, were not only validated, but also supported and encouraged. Luckily, I had grown up in a home where my intellect, my endeavors, and my dreams were supported. I relied on this foundation to combat the cultural lies and pressures that were muttered to me under the shroud of “advice” and “good intentions”—sometimes from church leaders I respected and from acquaintances I fleetingly encountered. Luckily, I was stubborn enough most of the time not to listen.
And, yes, I realize that these lies are more pervasive than just the LDS culture; women throughout the world are not immune, and many deal with much worse. However, this reality does not exempt us nor should it pacify us. There are those in the world who are already working hard to combat these lies [2] and there are many of us within the LDS Church and culture who are doing the same [3].
The mission of Aspiring Mormon Women, the non-profit Dianne Orcutt and I founded, is to support, encourage, and celebrate the educational and professional pursuits of LDS women. We are working hard to not only bring LDS women together who are interested in furthering, strengthening, and continuing their educations and careers, but we also hope to illustrate that not everyone believes (or lives) these lies. Through career day profiles, personal essays, informational articles, podcasts, and networking opportunities we are showing that intelligent, ambitious, and achieving LDS women need not concede their true selves—to be less than—in order fulfill their dreams—to be educated or successful, to marry, to have children, to be righteous women. We are showing that there are many intelligent, ambitious, and achieving LDS women with a gamut of life experiences. We are showing that “never marrying” is not punishment for not conforming to a specific type of womanhood. We are showing that women who pursue educations and careers do not hate motherhood or men (or even want to be men) because of their ambitious aspirations. We are showing that education and career (regardless of type) prepare women for personhood, provide more and better opportunities for contributing to the world—and not just at home. We are showing that LDS women can be mothers and in the workforce and still be active, engaged church members, wives, mothers, and friends. However, we are not only showing, but also providing support and connection to those who are already living these truths.
We should raise youth—both women and men—who do not short-change their full potentials, who refuse to settle for less than their true selves “in order to marry,” who do not believe that an education and possible career translate to hatred of family, who are taught that their value is not determined by the luck of “catching” a spouse. We should raise youth who value women for their intellects and for all of their aspirations and ambitions—in the home and out; who are taught that a woman’s value is not determined by her appearance; who do perceive smart, educated, ambitious women as equals and allies; who are not threatened by strong women; who support and encourage the dreams of (other) women while pursuing their own.
We are to seek learning by study and by faith. We are to put our shoulders to the wheel—and all of us—push along. I believe that our Heavenly Parents desire men and women to educate themselves and to work ambitiously—in and out of the home. They want Their children, sons and daughters, to have all that They have, including sharp intellects and bright minds. Let us not allow others to place limits on our own potentials and those of our sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, and friends. We cannot allow these lies to get the best of us. “Limitless is your potential. Magnificent is your future.” [4] I wholeheartedly believe this truth. And I know many others do, too, which gives me hope that things are getting better.
To those who not only believe these truths, but who also speak and live them, how do we help others believe, speak, and live them, too?
Naomi, is on of the co-founders of Aspiring Mormon Women. Aspiring Mormon Women is a non-profit organization with the broad purpose to encourage, support, and celebrate the educational and professional aspirations of LDS women who are high-school age, who are in school, who are working, or who are desiring to return to school or the workforce. a former middle school English teacher, she earned a B.A. in English education from Brigham Young University, a M.Ed. in language and literacy from Arizona State University, and a Ph.D. in teaching and learning with a literacy emphasis from the University of Utah. When not teaching literacy pedagogy courses to aspiring teachers at a private university in the Los Angeles area and conducting research in adolescent literacy, she can be found hiking in the mountains, soaking in sun at the beach, traveling close-to-home or abroad, or reading a good book.
[1] Gordon B. Hinckley, “How Can I Become the Woman of Whom I Dream?” Ensign, May 2001. https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/05/how-can-i-become-the-woman-of-whom-i-dream
[2] Some of my (recent) favorites: Mercy Academy’s recent advertisements, Beauty Redefined, A Mighty Girl
[3] See Aspiring Mormon Women Resources Page, which is a work in progress, so please send additional suggestions.
[4] See Hinckley talk above.
Jessica Finnigan
Jessica is a Master's Student at King's College London, where she studies religion in the contemporary world. She recently completed an advanced Diploma in Religious Studies at the University of Cambridge. She earned a Bachelors from BYU in Marriage, Family, and Human Development. She is married to her best friend, and they have 4 daughters.
All posts by Jessica Finnigan
I can’t disagree with your assumptions more. I have never known anyone to say to a woman that she would educate herself out of a dating pool, or to get some education but not too much, or that someone pursuing a degree must despise womanhood or motherhood. I don’t recall hearing such things.
Certainly there are some professions where a mom has to leave the child with a childcare provider (or a stay at home dad) if she did that. But anyone can be anything they want if they want to make the sacrifices to get there.
Jason,
I think it’s great that you don’t believe these false assumptions about women and have never heard anyone say these things; however, this reality isn’t necessarily the case for others. From my own personal experiences, from the experiences shared by women on the Aspiring Mormon Women web site, and in my personal conversations with others, it’s apparent that these assumptions do still exist and are propagated. Sure, we can strive to become more, and make sacrifices to do so, but these types of assumptions are one just needless roadblock to doing so.
All so interesting. To Jason’s point, I really believe most men do not understand these issues BECAUSE women are usually the worst culprits in judging, assessing, comparing & competing. I LOVE WOMEN but am often surprised how many pit their motherhood & womanhood against others women.
I know amazing Moms who stay home, I know amazing Moms who work, I know amazing Dads who do both. I also know not so happy, effective moms who work and some who stay at home. Point is…every woman has a path. As women, we need to support and love one another as long as the choices are productive, positive and conscious. It is about doing our best in any situation and loving those along the way.
Jason, just because you haven’t heard it, doesn’t mean that it’s not something that women have to deal with at many levels. The problems Naomi brings up aren’t made up out of whole cloth, they are real issues with real consequences. Until we start valuing the work that women do, and are capable of doing, as well as crediting women with true capacity, we face the perpetuation of such nonsense.
It is great that you have not ever heard this, but I think you must also realize that you are not a woman. You have not sat in YW classes or RS lessons. Also I have noticed when in groups it is easy to ignore comments that do not apply to one’s self. I have been told this and heard this so many times it is unbelievable.
I would like to believe that it does not happen in some places, but I have lived multiple places in the US and Internationally and it happens all the time. Often the messages are subtle but they are repeated with such frequency after 6 years of YW it is undeniable that this is taught.
Hey Jason,
Camille Fronk Olsen, Dean of the department of Ancient Scripture at BYU, talks about being repeatedly told this in an essay included in the book ‘A Twenty Something’s Guide to Spirituality’ published by Deseret Book.
Not an isolated incident.
I have written and thought extensively about my own experiences with being encouraged to be “less than” I wanted or had potential to be, and how that discouragment affected my trajectory both in career and personal growth. Whether anyone else was around to hear that kind of helpful advice is irrelevant. I heard it. All the time. And it is HARD to stand up to family or friends or church or teachers bosses (!!) or neighbors or well-meaning (?) strangers and say “Actually, I can go to grad school, and I will!” or “Actually, I do deserve that promotion, and I will ask for it!”
Thank you so much for pointing out again the difficulty with this cultural wall and how it is possible to scale, but there are defintitely ways to make the climbing easier. I am so grateful for the voices and people like you who encourage excellence high-reaching goals instead of those who encourage settling into some kind of perscribed role.
Jason,
Just because you have not heard anyone say such a thing doesn’t put you in a position to tell Naomi or anyone else that they are lying when they tell you people say these things to them! These are not assumptions. These are real lived experiences. What this signals to me is more that you haven’t talked to many LDS women about their professional lives. Certainly, there are variations in experience. Fortunately, there are LDS women that do not hear these things or do not here them very much. There are others for whom this is a constant challenge coming from the family and their local faith communities.
If you won’t believe Naomi (did you even bother to read her link where she tells of her personal experiences) then maybe you will believe me, and LDS guy. I have first hand witnessed and know many women directly who have had these things said to them on multiple occasions. I know women who have seen their family withdraw their support, counsel them to not accept offers to good PhD programs, tell them to quit jobs they love. I know LDS men who say publicly that they would never marry a women with more education or who made more money than they did. It happens and more than you would like to think.
If you want more hard data look at the Utah Women’s Education Project. Utah has the highest college drop out rate differential between women and men – almost 3 times higher than the next state. It has been *increasing* not decreasing over time. Multiple studies have shown that cultural factors, lack of family support and women’s internalization of expectations are a big part of the reason. More evidence. The BYU business school has the lowest percentage of women faculty than any business school in the country. Recruiters at the B-school have repeatedly told the school that there biggest problem with recruiting BYU students is that the men have a tendency to condescend to their women bosses and do not treat women peers as equals. The stories they tell are of men saying the type of things Naomi talks about to women in the organizations that hire them. This is consistent enough the business school runs specific programs to try and combat it because the recruiters basically say they won’t go back. So its real.
Fortunately you seem like a guy that thinks this is wrong. That is great! I recommend you find an LDS woman in your ward pursuing a profession and be supportive of her. I find that lots of LDS guys don’t discourage LDS women, but they also don’t go to basic efforts to encourage them the way they do their LDS brothers. We can do better!
Hear! Hear!
From this month’s New Era: http://www.lds.org/new-era/2014/01/more-than-just-a-mom?lang=eng
It discusses why one girl’s choice to be a stay home mom instead of pursuing a career was a manifestation of her belief that families are important.
Has anyone seen a similar message in the New Era about how one girl’s choice to pursue a career that would support her family was a manifestation of her belief that families are important?
Or would manifest her belief that the glory of God is intelligence or her desire to make the world a better place or any positive value outside of nurturing her children?
My daughter was so cross about that article!
As was I…
Yes, and it is this type of article that send the clear impression that you can “choose” but we all know there is one ‘right’ answer. It is such double speak, they create this plausibility deniability while still sending the message loud and clear to the cultural gatekeepers.
No, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a story like that in the New Era. Then again, I don’t know that the editorial board of the New Era would ever consider such a story even if anyone had offered one like it. However, the bloggernacle is full of stories about women who have received revelation about how their professional path can change the world for the better. One such great example is this blog post’s own experience.
I’m totally dumbfounded by that article.
I think we need to remember though that when these things are “taught” in church it’s not from the doctrine of the church. These are personal opinions by members. I’m sure these Are still hurtful, but I think we need to make sure we distinguish. I might add in all my years of yw, RS, and even achievement days, I have never heard this sentiment at all. In fact I’ve only felt this from one or two random guys at BYU. I dealt with them the same way I dealt with bullies in school; I just assumed they were crazy and took solace in the fact that most people realized their craziness.
Yea I know my anecdotal evidence doesn’t count, I’ve read it many times here before, but I thought my approach to the problem might help.
Alicia,
Can we at least agree that there are mixed messages. I group up in the age of Benson’s “To the Mother’s in Zion”. There are plenty of supporting materials for those that want to take hardline positions against women working or investing too heavily in education. That is what made that Hinkley talk so striking. It is one of the few instances of one of our leaders being really positive about women, especially mothers, working and succeeding professionally.
I think so much depends on where you grew up. I didn’t hear this in California, I heard it all the time in Utah. I live in England now I don’t hear it from local leaders. But in our ward every female leader works outside the home and most have PhD’s so I think I live in an outlying ward.
But I heard this all the time at BYU. It might just be the luck of the draw, but I think it should not be based on a game of chance.
And I think church leaders need to be aware of how their words create culture. I still hear Benson’s talk on motherhood quoted in church lessons. The marriage and family CES manual is another great example of perpetuating these ideas with authoritative quotes. And the Family Proclamation is rarely discussed with the nuance it deserves, and leads to simplistic black and white conversations.
Alicia,
I’m pretty sure that I was distinguishing between doctrine and personal opinions/cultural ideas in the OP. I think it’s fantastic that you did not have personally experiences (except for only a few isolated incidents) such as I described. Your anecdotal evidence shows that it’s not rampantly everywhere.
Naomi I really appreciated the article. Being a new husband and looking forward to the thought of being a father some day, it gives me a great deal to think about, and what kind of culture to try and raise my future children in (as well as how I can strive to be an influence for good to others today). I hope to encourage my daughters to pursue their full desired potential and encourage my sons, not only the same, but to support women who do.
I happened across this post when searching for help and encouragement for my sister, who is suffering lately, finding herself in the middle of the situations you described. She is a structural engineer with a PhD, at the top of her company, enjoying what she does and is revered and respected by her colleagues. While she loves her professional life she longs for a personal family, and she is feeling as if she truly has “educated herself out of the LDS dating pool,” or any pool for that matter. She is still relatively young at 36 and is not resigned to live a life of solitude, but the family and friends sentiments of “it will happen when its supposed to happen,” naturally no longer seem to suffice.
I have looked at the Aspiring Mormon Women website and look forward to sharing it with her (and my wife). I appreciate as I’m sure she will that there is an array of mentors in all sorts of family situations. As evidenced by your post, you are passionate about this subject and know from experience. Do you have any words of encouragement or advice that I may share with her?
Thanks,
Bobby
Bobby,
Thanks so much for your comments and thoughts. They give great hope for the future. 🙂
Your sister sounds like she could be me. I didn’t discuss this in the OP, but I am just shy of 35, never married, have a Ph.D., etc etc. On my good days, I know that my life is what the Lord would have me to do, and I have confidence that things will work out–not necessarily that I will marry and have children–but that all will be okay. On my bad days, I find it discouraging and hopeless. Thankfully, my good days far outweigh my bad. So really, I don’t know if I have specific advice, but I can instead offer solidarity (which may or may not be a reassuring thing).
I will say, however, that my education and career–while a possible deterrent to some suitors–is one the aspects of my life that provides me with great satisfaction and fulfillment. I’m pretty certain that I wouldn’t trade that for marriage–some may see that as THE problem. But I also don’t think God works that way. There are also plenty of accomplished LDS women who are married which shows that it’s not impossible.
If you’d like to put your sister in touch with me, feel free to contact me at naomi at aspiringmormonwomen.org We could use more women like her.
Thank you for your reply. I will indeed suggest her to get in touch with you!
Getting back to Jason for a moment: You may not have had the experience, but as a father, I ended up strongly suggesting some fellow Church members back off suggesting my oldest daughter should choose a major other than anthropology. After all, ‘what will that do for you as a mother..?’ was more than a bit irritating.
Sounds to me, Wilt, that your daughters have a great father.
I am very concerned about these issues, too. There is a great deal of variety in how these things are taught. I rarely hear Pres. Benson’s talk quoted these days, nor do I hear much counsel from the GAs that women should stay home as the only valid option. Not that it doesn’t happen, but things have softened somewhat. But still, it would help, I think, to hear the opposite point of view. If staying home isn’t the only way to do things now, can we hear more stories about women who work? Can we talk about women who are ambitious and highly educated as worthy of emulation? Most of the time, when I hear references to women who work in Conference, it’s about women who work because they “have to”.
I came across this quote this weekend probably from a British PBS show: “Gender is no license for knowledge.” I was raised in a non LDS southern California home, the only girl, living in a neighborhood of all boys. I learned all sorts of skills, developed talents that were not based on my sex. I learn to make model rockets, collect rocks, paint, trim hedges, hike, wood work,camp skills, fish, play guitar and drums, run track,took drafting in high school, swam on the CIF boys swim team, twirled baton, lift weights, made my own clothes,collect coins, played with toy horses and trucks, was a girl scout, and made pies. I was allowed to explore all sorts of craft activities. When I was eighteen in 1976, I joined the LDS Church, the only member of my family to do so. I discovered that many of the good interests that I enjoyed, were now not lady like for a “good LDS young woman”, I was to “learn” from other girls and leaders the “proper code of conduct”. I gave up a lot of good wholesome interests so I would be “good”. I was told to be in college just long enough to find a man and get married. No mention of education after that. Well I did get married, the last of my Laurel age group of 10 at the age of 21. My parents were not thrilled as I did not graduate from college. As time has gone by, I find myself sort of “rebelling” against the cultural messages of what I should be doing or not doing. Now, I am not talking about Church doctrine and commandments but things like how I am to wear my hair or wear makeup or what interests/ hobbies I had and how much time I spent on them. It was made very clear that further education or working outside of the home were not desired goals. Most of this cultural education came from the women in Relief Society or in the halls. Men told my husband take control his wife and keep me from doing things like yard work. I decided that I was doing in my life was not against the Church doctrine. There was nothing wrong with being interested in a “male ” type activity like gardening. So I just did my own thing sometimes at a social cost but I was true to myself.I decided that these cultural attitudes may/must stem from lack of self worth, fear of change, the fear the the bar has been raised, that I am rocking the boat thus they may have to change too.
As I raised my two daughters, I tried to instill in them that they could do anything they wanted that was of good report.I pushed for outdoor activities at Girls Camp like making a fire and hiking. I was told by men and women that I was not raising my daughters properly by encouraging good grade, community service and a year round, 20 hour per week sport commitment.It was a waste of time and money. I was told by several men in my ward that my daughters would be too smart to find a LDS guy to marry them. I thought, so you want your son to marry a girl who can not think for herself, who needs to look perfect for him and be needy so he feels strong. I do not think that is the role that my Heavenly Father would want my daughters to fill in life. My 30 something unmarried daughters are college educated, one with three degrees and the other with two, thinking of a third. They can think for themselves, support themselves. They want to be married but to someone who is of like mind. But because they have not married yet,I have been told that I as a mother in Zion, have failed to teach them what is “right”. Never mind that many Priesthood blessings and answers to prayers say that my daughters are engaged in what they should be doing with their lives. Never mind that they wish to be married but have not had an opportunity to do so. There is a cultural control/judgement out there. It depends on where you live, I guess and the cultural traditions that have been taught. I wonder why many LDS folks feel the need to be the cultural police? I have been lectured in the hall many times about the commandments our family was breaking because my husband lost his job. All this judgement about what other members are doing with their lives can push people down, not fully engaging in Church for fear of judgement. Most of my experiences and of those I know of came from Southern California and the Utah Mormons who live in CA bring their ideas with them. Now, I live in Montana and the idea that women can not be educated or do man’s job does not seem to fly here. LDS women and non LDS women do can everything. The work gets done, women are getting educated in all sorts of fields and at all ages. Women have children and have outside interests. There is blurry line between men and women “jobs” in and out of the Church. And they are supported by others in their educational, work, family choices. As our Church grows world wide, we need to change our cultural message about education,career and motherhood,to a more softer, kinder and understanding message that encourages, not being harsh and judging. I wish I could say that the messages that I received years ago have dissolved away but no. It seems that they are hanging on, like traditions from our fathers that need to be changed. But I see the winds of change coming with the social media attention this topic is getting. It is not that one or the other is right. It is about balance in our lives doing all sorts of things, maybe not at the same time or high intensity all the time but to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost to be the best we can be. I sometimes wonder how my life would have unfolded if I had gone to college,studied and graduated in a topic that I would like, not one that someone told me to study. I have thought of going back to formal college but it is hard get those old messages out of my head, just not there yet. I have ventured more on the path of informal education to gain knowledge and skills to own a wedding flower business, custom sewing business and work in a nationally know quilt shop. I have been able to teaching classes in art,gardening,food storage and genealogy. I believe that expanding our God giving talents with education, formal with a degree or informal with hands one learning.Education and learning make life more interesting. Think of how much good could be done if we could get passed the old out dated cultural ideas of what we all should be doing.
The problem is that there are so many mixed messages in Mormonism regarding this issue (as well as others).
For instance, the near-scripture Proclamation to the World on the Family declares the following:
“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”
And though you rightfully laud President Hinckley’s comment quoted above, these words in the Proclamation were read by President Hinckley to the Relief Society during the first year of his administration in 1995.
And I expect his signature leads the rest on the actual document.
P.S. I am a man and I have heard many times that women are supposed to get married as young as possible and have as many children as possible; that education for women is primarily about finding a man at college.
Am I the only one to hear of BYU’s M.R.S. degree?
Yes, many many many mixed messages, but even with a strict interpretation of the Proclamation, “primarily” responsible does not mean SOLE responsibility or ONLY responsibility. For a church that values personal revelation, we don’t seem to allow for much wiggle room regarding the personal application of the Proclamation.
Perhaps irrelevant, but does the Proc have actual signatures on it? I thought that only The Living Christ did.
Thanks for writing about this important topic. We need a culture change to open up more possibilities to LDS women and I found your article very helpful in that regard.
This is how I want my daughters to think. This is one of the many reasons I adore my wife. It may be an uphill battle, but we can drag others into the 21st century eventually!
Interesting article and comments. I have been a member my whole life – I’ve been in lessons and had things said directly to me that have made me raise an eyebrow. I’ve never taken them to heart or been weighed down by them – never felt their words were a mandate to fall in line and conform. Always asked does that jive with me? I guess this is a benifit of living in a small branch of the church and being the only LDS person in my high school after my sister left for BYU. Growing up in this setting I got used to never quite “fitting in” with peers or society – I actually prefer this. I asked my 11 yr old daughter which she preferred – standing out or fitting in? The pull and esteem of both ways of being is present in society in general. I hoped she would say standing out because as a Mormon where we live you will never quite fit in – won’t have the universally shared experience of binge drinking and hangovers for example. I had this feeling growing up and found it still at BYU, but this time because I was CDN, grew up in “the mission field”. Another reason I’ve never felt confined or checked by the “brown suits” (that’s what I call church people who don’t really get it – they are simpletons, who gloss the surface of the gospel and lack critical thinking abilities – children of God nonetheless.) is that my mother and father have always had an equal relationship, are a great team, and I can not remember a time my mum wasn’t working and canning and sewing and serving at church and going back to school and running her in home daycare. My mum is an incredibly industrious woman and my dad a hard working man. They both support each other. This was my example.
I feel that rather than expend energy trying to change LDS culture by brow beating and shaming the “brown suits” for their thoughtless comments and shortsighted views, it would be far better to empower girls to think for themselves, to remain curious and faithful, to be strong enough to not feel they must conform, and to seek for and rely on what they feel the Spirit I guiding them to do. We can do this best by being examples of excellence. We all have opportunities to give talks, share comments in class and testimonies on Fast Sunday. We can spark a conversation, not about how wrong “they” are, but how good it is to rely on the Spirit and have the courage and faith to do what you feel. This is the message I hear at Conferences, the one I heard last night at Women’s Conference – everyone has a unique path, don’t judge each other.
Courage is key for anyone, because always, always there will be detractors, nay-Sayers and opposition. Anyone who has achieved anything can recount people who told them they couldn’t be or do, they didn’t deserve, etc. think it was Sydney Poitier who said the best way to combat prejudice is with excellence.