Though Mormons don’t like to outright say it, it’s pretty clear that it won’t be too long before we’ll have some new apostles among the 12. While it is a futile effort to try and guess with any accuracy who will be selected to fill any vacancies, a few of us here at Rational Faiths (Laurel, Leah Marie, and Thomas) thought we would ask the question: If the various Mormon contingencies could present possible candidates for apostleship, who would they choose?


Baby Boomers:

John Bytheway

Donnie Osmond

1357940474_Michael Ballam 02

Michael Ballam



“Whomever the Lord chooses… In other words, one of my distant family members”.


Cultural Mormons:



Progressive Mormons:

Richard Bushman

Terryl and Fiona Givens (both of them)

Pope Francis

Pragmatic Heterodoxical Slightly Agnostic New Order Mormons

Jonathan Haidt


Brene Brown


Extreme Right Wing Mormons:

Alex Jones

Alex Jones


Glen Beck


Daniel C. Peterson

Daniel C. Peterson


EFY Youth:

Jeffrey R. Holland Clone #1

Jeffrey R. Holland Clone #2

Jeffrey R. Holland Clone #3


FAIR Mormon:

Brian Hales

Ralph Hancock


Ordain Women:

Alice Paul

Carrie Chapman Catt

Why would they choose 20th-century feminist figures for apostleship instead of modern women? Because they understand that the church is usually about 90 years behind.


Mormon Women Stand:

“Who did OW say? NOT them.”

“Who did OW say? NOT them.”


Nerd Mormons:

Captain Jean Luc Picard






John Dehlin

Denver Snuffer

Denver Snuffer

Jeremy Runnells

Jeremy Runnells

Nursery Kids:





beanie babies

Beanie Babies


Ogden 26th Ward Beehive Class:

David Archuleta

David Archuleta

Laurel is an actress and voice-over artist who lives with her husband and toddler in a soon-to-be-lovely little duplex (we're working on it) just outside Minneapolis. Like many Mormons her age, she enjoys stuff and doing things, and hopes that she can get even better at stuff so she can be a professional doer of things. She also thinks she maybe should not have written her bio when she was so tired.

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