Men bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures.
Years ago, while living in Mexico, I recall a particular young father, one of many among the men of the Church in Mexico whose faith in God graces their lives so naturally that they seem scarcely aware of it. This lovely man radiated a moral authority, born of goodness, that influenced all around him for good. With his wife, he sacrificed a number of pleasures and possessions for their higher priorities, seemingly without a second thought. His ability to perform feats of lifting, bending, and balancing with his children was near superhuman. The demands on him were many and his tasks often repetitive and mundane, yet underneath it all was a beautiful serenity, a sense of being about God’s work.
A man’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home.
In all events, a father can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship. By the power of his example and teaching. His daughters learn to respect manhood and to incorporate discipline and high moral standards in their own lives. His sons learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular.
Most sacred is a man’s role in the creation of life.
As grandfathers, fathers, and role models, men have been the guardians of the wellspring of life, teaching each generation the importance of sexual purity—of chastity before marriage and fidelity within marriage. In this way, they have been a civilizing influence in society; they have brought out the best in women; they have perpetuated wholesome environments in which to raise secure and healthy children.
Brothers, I don’t want to overpraise you as we sometimes do in Father’s Day talks that make you cringe. You don’t have to be perfect;
A pernicious philosophy that undermines men’s moral influence is the devaluation of marriage and of fatherhood and homemaking as a career. Some feminists view homemaking with outright contempt, arguing it demeans men and that the relentless demands of raising children are a form of exploitation. They ridicule what they call “the daddy track” as a career. This is not fair or right. We do not diminish the value of what men or women achieve in any worthy endeavor or career—we all benefit from those achievements—but we still recognize there is not a higher good than fatherhood and fatherhood in marriage. There is no superior career, and no amount of money, authority, or public acclaim can exceed the ultimate rewards of family. Whatever else a man may accomplish, his moral influence is no more optimally employed than here.
The same is true of sexual immorality and of revealing dress that not only debases men but reinforces the lie that a man’s sexuality is what defines his worth.
In these exhortations to men, let no one willfully misunderstand. By praising and encouraging the moral force in men, I am not saying that women and girls are somehow excused from their own duty to stand for truth and righteousness, that their responsibility to serve, sacrifice, and minister is somehow less than that of men or can be left to men. Sisters, let us stand with men, share their burdens, and cultivate our own companion moral authority.
Carrie Marsh
Carrie is a memorial artist and mom to 3 young children, and is being watched over by twin boys. When she isn't working, you can usually find her spending time with her family. If there is, by some miracle, extra time when she doesn't want to fall into her bed and sleep, she likes to indulge her creative side, where she dabbles in a bit of everything. She has been married to her husband, Jon, for over 10 years and they enjoy watching shows together, vacationing (who doesn't?!), and going on adventures.
All posts by Carrie Marsh
I’m bumping this, so I can have time to read it–
there’s a lot here, and it looks fascinating–
Thanks–
Oh. My. Goodness! You have done an amazing thing here. Thank you.
The church is true. amen.
Wow. Thank you. As a dad who is known for my gourmet meals (my wife is more of a free spirit when it comes to cooking), I am the one who drives the kids to school and picks them up (my job is more flexible than my wife’s). When my youngest wakes up at night scared, he comes to my side of the bed. And strangely enough, I do most of the laundry and all of the ironing.
Reading this gender-swapped article made me feel proud of the important work I do as a dad.
Last January, i told my daughter that I expect her to always lobby for her rights, and after this talk was originally given on Saturday, I put my hands on her cheeks, and I told her that her job was not to meet any anyone’s expectations but to discover her own gifts and to decide how she will make the world a better place
Thank you for recognizing the gift I have discovered within myself.
You should totally be praised for doing parenting well! It’s a lot of work and your kids will love you even more for all the effort you put in. (Maybe not now, but in, like 20 or 30 years.)Competent caretaking is the new sexy, as far as I’m concerned.
I. Love. This. Nothing brings the ridiculous patronizing tone of GA talk directed to women like swapping the gender. Reminds me a lot of Carol Lynn Pearson’s ‘Walk in the Pink Moccasins’. https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pdf/137-21-25.pdf
Nice work
I am a stay-at-home dad myself and this article really touched me in how special my wife is really. I don’t know if it is a joke or not–I am clueless like that; but I loved it. I shows that men and women are different and that men need to be spoken to differently when it comes to uplifting us.
Now, as a stay-at-home-dad, I only stay at home because I work from home. My wife is still the homemaker and she is a Stay-at-Home Mom. She is the heart of my family. Our home is only a home when she is here. I am glad you wrote this. It gives me a different perspective from which to view the things I say to my wife.
I don’t need to be told I am lovely or precious. I need to be told I am dependable and righteous–a good provider and protector.
Men and women are not the same and should not be treated the same or spoke to the same when it comes to encouraging either.
We are equally vital in mortal life though. That is what really matters. Without either of us, everything fails.
I get that this article was gender swapped from a talk given in General Conference, and in that I think it was funny.
On the other hand, with all of the male-bashing that I see in society today it was good to see something positive said about men (even if it was just in jest).
I wish we would say this stuff to the men and boys more often! They deserve to be told their role as a father is divine and that they are important and spiritual too. They are just add much so as women.
Amen! Men rarely get praised for doing “women’s work.” But they should – it’s hard! And it’s important to do it well!
The ironic thing is, the more men do it, the more prestigious the work will become in our culture.
I disliked this as much as I disliked the original. Well done.
I did a gender swap in Church when I gave one of the Father’s Day Talks this year. Used this quote to do the swap…….Elder Ballard ( Conference April 2010)
“Brethren, we, your sisters, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous man.”
There was not a sound in the chapel. Not even a baby whimpered. I think some minds were blown.
Pretty sure I won’t be asked to speak next year, but if I did, I would definitely borrow your work. Thanks for keeping it real!
Thank you, thank you! This very idea has been in my head the last week.
Gah! I love this.