Yesterday was one of those rare days where my wife, Cathy, and I were able to meet for lunch. When we sat down, she said, “Mike, take a look at this. It’s from the New Era1.” She showed me the above picture which she had on her phone. I could tell she was irritated. I looked at the cartoon drawing and told her to, “Give me a minute to think about it.” I needed time to process what Cathy saw as the possible problems with the drawing. It didn’t immediately come to me – I’ll be honest. Cathy then began to point out all the problems with the message that this picture is giving to teenage Mormon girls. We have two daughters – a fourteen year old and a soon-to-be ten year old – so we keep a close eye on these types of things. The following questions, which are addressed to the editors of The New Era, come from my conversation with my wife yesterday. For ease of reading, I will call the young woman on the left, wearing the red shirt, “Getter.” The young woman on the right, wearing the white shirt, I will call, “Giver.”
Dear New Era editors,
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having Getter’s shoulders squared with confidence, while the Giver’s are rounded and less self-assured?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having the Giver holding an obvious scripture case while the Getter is not?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having the Giver wearing a Young Women’s medallion while the Getter is not?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having the Giver smiling and the Getter is not?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having the Getter’s skirt just below the knees and wearing a short-sleeve shirt, while the Giver’s skirt is almost to the ankles and wearing a long-sleeved shirt?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having the Getter appear more mature while the Giver appears to be infantilized?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having the Giver’s toes pointed inward, appearing to lack confidence, in a more submissive-type posture, while the Getter’s feet are well-planted and self-assured?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by having two young women depicted and not two young men?
- What message is trying to be conveyed by implying that a young woman’s self-worth is achieved only through giving and sacrificing for others and not by doing things to improve herself?
- Is the message that is trying to be conveyed that the Church wants women who lack confidence so they will kowtow to men?
After Cathy and I chatted, we decided we would show the picture to our fourteen year old daughter. We discussed how we wanted to ask our daughter her thoughts in a way that wouldn’t give away our issues with the message being given – we wanted to hear her thoughts, not what she thought we wanted to hear. So during dinner last night we asked her an open ended question, being careful of our tone. “Look at this picture and tell us what you think about it.” She looked. “Well, the one on the left is talking about doing stuff to improve herself. The one of the right is talking about stuff that will help others.” Then it happened. And this is the eleventh and the last question I will ask. It is the question our fourteen year old asked Cathy and me:
11. “Why can’t she be both?”
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Notes
1. To read the article in its entirety, click here.
Miguel Barker-Valdez
Miguel is a Guatemalan-American Mormon living in the Northwest with his family. He is one of the proprietors of the Rational Faiths blog.
All posts by Miguel Barker-Valdez
'Getter' is also wearing red, a color that symbolizes many, many things. 'Giver' is wearing white, which symbolizes many things also, nearly each of them has an opposite symbol which is ironic considering that the opposites line up nearly perfectly with what the color red symbolizes. Getter's eyes are turned downward, Giver's eyes are turned upward. The symbolism you point out is incredibly powerful and uses time honored art practice in a very Disney-esque way to reach and give the message to it's intended audience very well. A good article. Thank you.
As a mother of 8 and YW president, I agree whole heartedly with your questions and assesments. And all but one of the questions on the picture are good and worthy questions for a person to ask and could be a lesson topic.
If you read the article is states that both is acceptable, just that when we are young , we tend to think more about what is in it for me. I think the article is thpught provoking. Perhaps the illustration could have been different. Focus on the WORDS.
I've been so disappointed by the overall direction of the church lately. I've always tried really hard to separate Mormon "culture" from Mormon "doctrine". As the saying goes, "The church is true, but the people aren't." But it's incredibly disheartening and frustrating to see this kind of stuff infiltrating stuff published directly by the church. It just feels like they're moving more and more toward fundamentalist type stuff and it really bothers me. What I always appreciated about the doctrine was that women were encouraged to be confident, self-assured, educated, prepared to take on the world, accomplish things, and let their light shine. But the more I see of women being encouraged to be submissive, entirely covered up as if we Duggars, it just breaks my heart. Lately I've been saying I consider myself 80% Mormon, but that number keeps dropping and dropping. Which makes me sad.
Also, just another thought, but didn't the church get rid of those necklaces for the girls and transition to stickers? (Another move I completely disagreed with that I felt completely infantilized teenage girls. Yet another message that they aren't worth as much as boys – boys get merit badges, endless awesome boy scout events and ceremonies… and girls get stickers. But that's a rant for another day.)
How can you focus on the words with they are part of a larger illustration? If the publication truly wanted us to focus on the words they would have printed a text-only article with bullet points. Clearly the illustration has tremendous intent that is not and cannot be ignored.
The WORDS are just as bad. YW are told from the get-go that their job in the church – and the world – is to GIVE-GIVE-GIVE. Not prioritize developing or improving themselves nor thinking about what is best for them. It's all about other people. Whichis problematic when the "other people" are all the men and boys in their lives.
THANK YOU GOD for getting me out of this works based cult. The pressure to be perfect lead me to depression. I was miserable for so many years thanks to the unrealistic standards the LDS church puts on it's people. It's a task master, just like the Jehovah Witness organization. To be perfect means to be complete in Christ. No one is perfect (Romans 3:23). The only way to be perfect is to place your faith completely and totally in the finished work of Jesus Christ (Hebrews 10:14), God in the flesh (John 1:1;12). Sadly, Mormons have no clue who Jesus really is and what He has done for them so they focus on themselves to see if they are "doing enough" are "good enough". JESUS is good enough, He alone is worthy. LDS are NOT worthy (Isaiah 64:6) and never will be unless they repent for following a false gospel (Gal. 1:8) and false Christ (2 Cor. 11:4) and place their faith solely on the blood of Jesus that was shed NOT in the garden (go read your Bibles people) but on the cross (Rom. 4:25). By his DEATH (not prep time in the garden) was our sin debt paid in full.
I have another question. What message is trying to be conveyed by having a tithing slip protruding (oh so casually) from both Getter’s bag and Giver’s scripture case? I personally take two messages from it. 1) Jesus was just kidding when he said to do not your alms before men to be seen of them, and 2) regardless of the spirit in which you are paying tithing, whether it’s to help others or help yourself, please don’t stop paying tithing.
I am so glad you sent a letter to the church publication about this. It has really bothered me. I noticed all of the same things!! Great article!!
This was also addressed yesterday on the Aspiring Mormon Women web site. http://aspiringmormonwomen.org/2015/12/30/im-a-getter-and-a-giver/
Another question: The article itself is not directed at young women and applies equally to young men. What message is being sent by showing a young woman in the first place? Shouldn’t young men be asking themselves the same questions?
Are we not all equal opportunity sinners. I find no hidden message by making both giver and getter female. Perhaps the artist tossed a die to decide! It is also okay to assume best intentions.
Exonerating humility/meekness/selfless/modest/nurturing/kindness is celebrated throughout Christianity/Hinduism/Buddhism etc. and I think is a beautiful thing. There is nothing wrong with the New Era Article or with the image.
It’s not either/or you trigger-happy bunch.
“It’s OK to think about blessings you’ll receive”
(It’s OK! You can be both!)
“but if you find that you tend to look inward MORE than outward, try looking up.”
I emphasised the word “MORE” for those that missed it.
It’s always possible to pick fault, especially if you work at it really hard.
If you have a victim mentality then you see attacks also where there are none.
The pictures clearly represent the extremes of each trait, but I wonder if you project onto each trait the judgement that you think the authors have made.
Why bother supposing that the girl in red is condemned? The picture does not justify it and the text contradicts that view most explicitly.
I think I’d rather understand the article and picture by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost than by the sparks you guys have kindled.
The whole thing reminds me of Malachi 3:14-end; this article is a cure to that malady.
But oh no, the international magazine didn’t address all cultures and sub cultures evenly enough in so few words, it must be institutional misogyny again.
Feminists can’t be pleased, sadly modern day feminism is mostly about leveraging victimhood and manufacturing it where there is none; which is a shame as there is real work to be done, no doubt being done by shameless givers… 🙁
I hear you, Sue. The message I got from the original article was: as all of us focus on serving others, we are not only blessing their lives, but unavoidably and simultaneously receiving blessings for ourselves. Like in Mosiah 2:23-24.
Your daughter asked the exact same question I did. What I noticed is that the questions seem to be more about the church than the individual. In a very narcissistic kind of way the questions remind me of an emotionally manipulative relative I have. It’s very classic “if you love me, you’ll do such and such for me” kind of language. A selfless person is someone who goes to church, serves a mission, pays their financial dues, and so on. What really bugs me is nothing on the list is actual “service.” Why can’t the church teach real service, the truly selfless “love our neighbor” kind? True service has been supplanted with busy work for the organization. Why must messages always be laced with guilt trips like this?
The Church spends 6 years telling YM and YW that they will be blessed for serving a mission, then shames them (or at least the girls) for asking what those blessings ARE. That’s not just manipulative; that’s downright Orwellian.
Anyway, the question that I have after viewing this image is: are there still YW who carry a scripture case? In my ward every single one of them uses a tablet or phone 😉
I wonder, if I were charged with making an illustration for this article, how would I depict the different characters? Should they look exactly the same? Should the giver have a "glow" arounder her? I'm not saying I like the pigeon-toed, timid, awkwardness of the giver, but how would you draw them to communicate the differences in the attitudes? This is a sincere question, please reply.
Comment
Susan Miller Simmons,
In the first place I think I would make both images the same girl or boy(or have one of each both sides), with the same stance, perhaps as mirror images, dressed in the same outfits. They would both look confident and happy. These are positions the same person can hold, and consider. As it stands neither look happy, whilst one looks either defiant or grumpy, and the other nervous, and having different characters tends towards depicting either/or rather than a healthy mix.
Comment
Susan Miller Simmons,
Who are you asking? Some random person on the internet? The answer to your question is it should be drawn just as it was drawn. The Era has great editors/reviewers/authors who hold the position they do for a reason. What is in the magazine is correct as it is.
Dogmas are collective conceptual prisons. And the strange thing is that people love their prison cells because they give them a sense of security and a false sense of ‘I know.’ Nothing has inflicted more suffering on humanity than its dogmas.
Eckhart Tolle
Comment
Hedgehog,
Being self-centered does not make anyone happy. Self-centered people are prideful/aggressive/defensive/stubborn/stiff-necked-as is depicted. Selfless people are humble/meek/gentle/kind/joyful as is also depicted. The cartoon is accurate.
Alysa Revell my experience in young women's was how I could improve myself and exemplify the values and qualities of the young women's program. By improving myself I would then improve and help others. But the first focus was myself
Angel, your experience was mine as well. We do emphasize in church that we will be “blessed” for doing “x, y and z.” My experience is that there is a great deal of pride and self-focus in church culture, from a belief that we somehow “earned” the abundance we enjoy in life.
Alysa Revell my experience in young women's was how I could improve myself and exemplify the values and qualities of the young women's program. By improving myself I would then improve and help others. But the first focus was myself
Really? What assumptions you have made. And took a lot of time doing and gossiping about.
I inadvertently reversed the images at first — thought the Getter was the Giver, and the opposite. I began formulating reasons to understand why the graphic bothers people before I realized I was thinking backwards. But because of my mistaken perspective, I’m thinking too much is being read into the artist’s efforts.
Both girls are in “closed” positions — one with arms reverently folded, the other with arms clasped in front. So both are in submissive positions (problematic in itself), as “power poses” are more open. Both are about equally covered when you take into account the tights, which some in the older generation would consider more modest/appropriate. Both are wearing FSOY-approved fashions. It’s no more manipulative to make the Giver slightly more fashionable than it would have been to make the Getter as such, as if you are more attractive when serving (a marketing angle that’s often used). Both appear to be carrying scriptures. The drawings actually appear to be quite similar, with most differences understandable in the interest of creating an engaging rather than monotonous illustration. Why have an illustration at all if the girls are identical?
The white and red shirts were the most glaring distinction for me. (Even so, I was relieved they didn’t make a blond-haired, blue-eyed Giver and dark-haired, brown-eyed Getter.) I could be convinced this was intentional symbolism, and problematic if so.
I agree with the overall critique of the article, that vilifying getting is problematic — and maybe even a little hypocritical coming from an organization that emphasizes the blessings we receive for doing what we’re told. But does every lesson on service require a caveat that you need to serve yourself, too? (Maybe.) Does every lesson on honesty require a caveat that there are times when it’s more ethical to lie? (Maybe.)
With that said, I wish there was more focus on giving generally than on giving to the church. Of the items listed in the illustrations, only “honesty” has anything to do with life outside church. What about volunteering in the community, standing up for someone being bullied, or donating to a good cause? As a culture we too often mistake churchiness for goodness.
Comment
Craig Morris,
Echkart Tolle preaches letting go of ego, being selfless, and being a “giver”, which is the same exact thing that this article is teaching. Everyone follows someone’s dogma. The dogma of being selfless and being a giver is a good dogma to follow. Who here thinks being selfless/meek/humble/modest etc. is wrong?
I am familiar with the writings of Eckhart Tolle. I had an amazing experience while reading one of his books and am thus a bit protective of his reputation. He says that consciousness is the end of dogma, not that everyone has a dogma. If you are going to use his name you should be careful to say what he would say.
We all know we should be selfless/meek/humble/modest. Most here don’t have a quarrel with the text of the article, just the accompanying image.
An illustration of one person asking all of the questions and the title was "I am Getting and Giving" the issue would be solved 🙂
Still get necklaces. The medalion has changed and girl can choose silver or gold but it is still out there.
How can u tell by a picture how the person feels or if there issues going on with that person(picture) and don’t you think u should get the facts on this issue before showing everyone and have people commit on it.Sorry know what its like when people on the internet judge and say stuff that not true or highly dramatize about what really going on. Sorry if I’m being rude or disrespectful.
Sorry didn’t mean anything bad or be mean and disrespect anyone sorry had a lot of crap and lies about I’m not good with the internet and the cell phone just stupid I guess. I am sorry
Oops made mistake like I said stupid I had a lot of crap and lies said about me on the internet. I am sorry for what I said.