“KNOCK AND I WILL GET ANGRY WITH YOU”
by Michael Barker
As all parents, my wife and I have rules for our daughters. One of these rules is that my oldest daughter cannot have a cell phone until she is old enough to pay for half of its purchase. There are good reasons for this rule, none of which I need to justify here. She understands the rule.
Well, my oldest daughter (twelve years old) came up to me the other day and asked if she could have a cell phone.
“Dad, when may I have a cell phone?”
“Um, when you can pay half of its cost. You know the rule”
“But, what if…”
She then presented some good arguments for why she would need a cell phone. I told her I would talk about it with her mom.
My wife and I chatted about it. It seemed like a reasonable idea. Some of her friends had cell phones. However, I still didn’t feel comfortable just giving my daughter a cell phone without her helping out with its purchase. So, as silly as this may sound, Cathy (my wife) and I made it a matter of prayer. The answer came back, “No”.
I told my daughter that her mom and I had discussed it and that the answer right now was, “No, not right now.”
Cathy and I didn’t get angry at her for asking.
Sometime later, some of my nieces came to visit from out of town. They were at grandma’s. My two daughters were very excited. They wanted to spend the night over at grandma’s house so they could be with their cousins. The problem? It was a school night and well, we don’t allow sleep-overs at grandma’s on school nights.
Our daughters asked if we would allow it just this one time. They respectfully gave their most persuasive arguments. I told them that they knew what the rule was, but their mom and I would discuss it.
Cathy and I chatted about it. Their cousins had travelled quite a distance. My daughters were doing well in school, but I didn’t want them to go to school tired. What to do? There were seemingly good arguments on both sides. So, like the cell phone, and as silly as it sounds, we made it a matter of prayer.
The answer to our prayer was, “Yes, they should be allowed to have a sleep-over with their cousins over at grandma’s house.”
Cathy and I didn’t get angry that they asked us a question. We did not question whether or not they were faithful daughters of ours.
Cathy and I didn’t feel that our authority was in jeopardy because an idea, that was contrary to our rules, had been proposed by our daughters. We don’t see our ability to divinely lead the family was somehow diametrically opposed by our daughters bringing us questions.
Matthew 7:7 reads:
“Ask and I will become angry…knock and I will question your loyalty to me.”
Oh, wait. That’s not what it says at all, is it? Silly me.
Miguel Barker-Valdez
Miguel is a Guatemalan-American Mormon living in the Northwest with his family. He is one of the proprietors of the Rational Faiths blog.
All posts by Miguel Barker-Valdez
Nice 🙂
What Mark 7:7 *actually* says is, “Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”
Pretty delicious irony, no?
^^^Woops!!!
Justin Bailey, you are my hero! The problem is, that’s not what happened. Now if the daughter, after being reminded of the rule and told no, went and got 50 of her friends to “agitate” her parents endlessly for a year, then told her friends to organize and get more kids to nag in the hopes that the parents would give in, that’s more close to what happened. I would continue to love my daughter, but I’d ground her ass for the rest of the year AT LEAST! OK, feel free to hate on me. Just finally had to point out the difference between what you think happened and what ACTUALLY happened. Proceed to point out your intellectual superiority. I’ve read enough of these comments to know what to expect.
Don’t forget to add that the “daughter” in this scenario got the media involved in an attempt to publicly embarrass her “parents” into getting a yes answer after being told no… repeatedly.
But only after her parents resolutely ignored her for 50 years or more. I’d sic the media on anyone that dense.
Hmmm. Didn’t realize Kate was that old.
If you think Mormon Feminism began with Kate Kelly, you’re woefully unprepared for this discussion.
If that happened with my children, I would think to myself, “Man this is really really important to them. Maybe there’s something wrong with the way I am seeing this situation. Since they really really want me to listen that bad, I better make sure that I am really listening, and not just sticking to my guns for the sake of not looking bad, or like questioning my authority is an ok thing to do.”
My house isn’t run that way. If my kids start getting the notion that they can get whatever they want so long as they make a big enough spectacle, chaos ensues. Apparently the Lord feels the same way about His house.
But You already got your answer from Heavenly Father. Do you think Heavenly father will change the No to a Yes just because your daughter went to the media and got all her friends to help her.
Heather and Justin,
They were never told “no” or given any answer, and actually there isn’t even a rule, just tradition.
Kate Kelly is ACTUALLY an adult, not a child in the first place.
I wish there was a love button
Wow. If you can’t recognize such an obvious joke, you’re woefully unprepared for *any* discussion.
Besides, you’re wrong. Kate Kelly was excommunicating for demanding the Priesthood and saying it was due to her feminism is disingenuous.