Rationalfatihs.com and Modern Mormon Men are launching the contest to end all contests, starting this September.
Before we begin, lets think about what we know about our Heavenly Father. We know he is all powerful and all knowing. We know he loves us. From prophetic accounts and artistic depictions, we also know he has a beard, and we know he sent his bearded son to die for us. In other words, beardliness is next to godliness.
I am sure that this has been something that prophets throughout time have struggled with. Some may have wanted to emulate our Heavenly guides by growing beards. Some perhaps have felt unworthy and decided to make a subdued effort, decorating only regions of their face with facial hair, thus attempting to show their humility before God. Some have completely shaved their face, maybe to delineate the separation between man and his Creator. The collection of various attempts has left us with quite the gallery.
Which brings us to the competition: Starting September 1st, we are launching a beard growing contest that will go until October 31st. A picture must be taken on the first day, with some sort of evidence to indicate the date- a date display on the picture, a newspaper from September 1st in prominent display, or anything that proves the date. On the final day of the contest, participants will shave their facial hair into a style that is similar to any Latter Day Saint apostle or prophet, and then will submit a final picture (also with some evidence to indicate the date) and a name for the style. We will limit ourselves to this dispensation, because this is only a 2 month contest, and we don’t have a lifetime to grow a ‘Moses’ beard. In other words, shave your face and give it a name- “The Wilford Woodruff”, “The George Albert Smith”, “The Early Lorenzo Snow with Awesome Sideburns“, “Older Pointy Bearded Lorenzo Snow”, “The Heber C. Kimball Combover Sideburns Combo”…you get the drift.
We’ll post the final pictures, with the winner being decided by the number of votes received. The person with the most votes will be awarded $100 in cash, a Sunday School or Illustrated Mormons print from Scott Heffernan, and a Rational Faiths sticker. That’s some good prizes to look totally awesome and be the envy of all of your friends! The more who participate, the more fun we will have. Let the beard growing begin!
Email entries to paulebarker (at) yahoo.com
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Exciting news!!! We have decided to have two categories:
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Those that start with a smooth face. This prize money for the winner will be $100 along with the Rational Faiths bumper sticker and an Illustrated Mormons print from Scott Heffernan.
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Those that already have facial hair. This prize money for the winner will only be $50 along with the Rational Faiths bumper sticker and an illustrated Mormons print form Scott Heffernan.
Doesn’t it take a bajillion days to grow a Lorenzo Snow, let alone a Joseph F. Smith?!
Interesting thought this is, though. It seems to me that depictions of both the Bible and Book of Mormon prophets show no preference one way or the other. Joseph Smith, Jr., and Brigham Young (for most of his presidency) were clean-shaven, but then it seems beards were the norm for about 80 years, at which point they vanished without a trace of stubble.
As such, I predict that by 2030 (2nd Coming… yyyyeeeeeeeeeHAAAAAWWWWW) beards will once again be the norm.
All modern images of JS show his without a beard and most people think that he had no beard. However, in the Teachings of the Prophets manual toward the very end it has descriptions of people who knew him and they describe him as having a light beard (The Ministry of Truth is at it again).
This contest is discriminatory against our sweet sisters and follicly-challenge brethren. In the name of “all being alike unto god” other options should be considered. Perhaps, armpit or leg hair growth? Someone more clever than me should be able to come up with adequate alternatives
🙂
Unfortunately Jason F I could totally grow a goatee… but I’m not going to! And I’m making this comment anonymously too, but I’m a 42 year old female 🙂
I’ll participate.
With my face, not my armpits.
I agree, at least 8 weeks is required for truly prophetic results.
https://sphotos-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/1003423_10152489318858475_792986365_n.jpg
Can I nominate this handsome dude for category 2?
https://sphotos-a-pao.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1235103_10151918525249048_1069729721_n.jpg
I happen to be growing a beard for an LDS Bible film, but I didn’t start until Sept 22 and we will film in a couple of months. I work at the Church Office Building in SLC so you can imagine the stares I get in the elevator and the cafeteria.
I grew an epic beard (8 months) for the filming of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane scene, you can see it in the Bible videos, I play the part of the priest who arrests Jesus (my line, “Jesus of Nazareth”, I practiced it a long time). Now that beard got comments even from strangers on the train.
Poqui –
We would still love to have your beard contest submission! I’ll have to look for you in the movie!
I have too much respect for my beard to play a game like this. Shave it off? This isn’t a game, it’s my life, dammit! I like to think that me and my beard were friends in the pre-existence and I have a duty to keep that friendship up during Earth life. However, I do wish the best for everyone else and I hope somebody grows “The Full Porter Rockwell.” I would vote for that.
There is usually a mustache/beard deal in the month of November every year. I think they call it Movember. I like the fun idea of having a contest emulating different facial hair styles.