Step four of the twelve step program requires one to [have] “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”. Steps one-three focus on admitting helplessness in the face of addiction and turning it over to God’s help. Step four requires that one now look within for what needs to be changed. It is the ultimate introspection. But is it truly possible to take an unbiased look at ourselves unencumbered by either negatively or positively charged ego?
I’ve mentioned before that I dislike the term “faith crisis” and I have to admit that I think part of the reason I dislike it is because I feel it is overused and more often than not misapplied. It reminds me of “epic” in the way that it has taken something that once had a grand meaning and applied it to every single thing imaginable thus robbing the phrase of any meaning at all. I have talked to many many individuals who have had crises of faith and what they describe sounds more like a drop of rain than an earthquake.
There is a natural ebb and flow between doubt and faith, one which can undoubtedly provide for a bumpy ride, but it is still a natural part of life. Sometimes when we need an answer to life’s many ups and downs and mysteries the answer lies within us. Sometimes that fearless moral inventory can give us further insight than simply throwing our hands in the air and yelling faith crisis like it is some sort of safety word.
Change is healthy, and good. Shifting plates beneath our feet keep us on our toes so we don’t become stagnant and waste precious mortal time not growing to our best selves. When we feel the nettles of doubt creeping upon us it can simply be that it is time for a change—time to shake things up. Looking at yourself in the bright light of day can help you to know whether such feelings are cause for alarm or simply the next stage.
Holding on to security blankets of ideas is not in our best interest. Challenge yourself. Challenge each other. Test the scriptures. Stretch and grow. I genuinely relish the opportunity to improve myself. I have a very very long way to go, and I am grateful when my brothers and sisters in Christ can offer me some push-back and let me know when I might get out of hand. I want to be my best self. That doesn’t mean being perfect because that will never happen in mortality for any of us, it means always doing the best you can with the information you have at the time. It means that if I could do any of it all over again with that same light and knowledge I possessed originally I would pass because I know I did it right.
These exercises are how we find empathy and forgiveness for ourselves and others. Learning to be honest with ourselves teaches us to be honest with each other and honest with God. Introspection is such a gift, and I encourage anyone to take the time even 5 minutes a day to get to know you better. You may be so many things to so many different people; son, daughter, husband, wife, mother, father, Home Teacher, Visiting Teacher, employer, employee, but you are your only self. That fearless moral inventory will be worth the time and the hard effort and it will help you to better tell the difference between the high and low tides of your life.
EOR
EOR is a convert and a divorcee. She is the 2013 Wheaties award winning author in the category: "Funniest Thread", and has a B.S. in Business Management and Economics. In addition to being a permablogger at Rational Faiths, she also is a permablogger at Expert Textperts. She lives in NY, has 2 cats, and enjoys brevity, deli sandwiches, and laughing.
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“I have talked to many many individuals who have had crises of faith and what they describe sounds more like a drop of rain than an earthquake.”
Don’t get me wrong, I like you, and your writing, but that sentence does not demonstrate any sense of empathy. I too don’t care for the phrase for my own reasons, but to downplay one, whatever it consists of makes me feel a little dissed as a reader. Families can be devastated, divorces occur, people die. What are you saying???
You’re right Scott. My wording (and probably even a bit of my intent) was selfish and cruel. We each have our own crosses to bear and what may seem like a raindrop from the outside can feel like an earthquake inside. My empathy has been re-calibrated accordingly.
The underlying point I was (unsuccessfully) trying to make with that line of reasoning is that knowing ourselves can aid immensely in knowing if what we are experiencing at the time is a raindrop or an earthquake _for us_. Surely you would agree that it would be unhealthy for an individual to consider every matter that does not work out 100% successfully to be a major crisis? My mistake was using my own judgment to determine whether someone else’s issue was a big deal instead of being more clear in indicating they should use their own to determine that same thing.
Awesome EOR. I do totally agree. Thanks for your thoughtful, and empathetic reply. (<:{
“Learning to be honest with ourselves teaches us to be honest with each other and honest with God.”
So true and the hardest thing to do!
Incredibly hard to do! A great deal of people get stuck on Step 4 because our own brains attempt to protect us from our own harsh judgment. The ego is an amazing thing.
I find eliminating the positive and negative ego part to be the most difficult. I tend to go in the extremes of wanting to paint myself in a great light to feel good or a terrible light in order to avoid actually facing the truth by saying “I’m just so bad! It’s hopeless!”
It doesn’t help that in church we’re often taught to place extreme moral judgements on things that are either not that big of a deal, or are not necessarily moral choices. Then we can’t take a step back and look at things objectively because we’re so busy saying if things are “good” or “bad” and respectively totally defending or running away from them. I find the most courageous thing is sometimes to just try to see things as they really are and not impose final judgements on myself or others.